faith

The Villains in Your Story

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 08 Apr 2025 20:46:14 +0000

The Villains in Your Story

anny@familybri… Tue, 04/08/2025 - 15:46 Apr 8, 2025

Don’t ask me why, but the 1963 Alfred Hitchcock movie The Birds popped into my mind. Now, I’m pretty sure I never actually saw the film, but as a little girl, I remember the posters—vivid images of birds swarming and attacking people in a small town. I can still picture the woman in the poster, running for her life, her face filled with terror. She was being chased, pursued by something relentless, something that wanted to harm her. And I get it—who wouldn’t run if something like that were chasing after you?

But let’s be real, it’s rarely a flock of birds that stirs up fear and worry in our lives. These emotions don’t show up in dramatic forms. No, fear and worry sneak in quietly, creeping into our thoughts until we find ourselves on the run.

It shows up when you sit in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, staring at the clock, your heart racing, waiting for test results. The fear that maybe the news will be bad, that something’s wrong with your health, starts to crawl under your skin. It walks with you as you think about your kids—are you doing enough for them? Are you raising them right? The weight of that worry presses on your chest. Then there’s fear about your finances—what if you lose your job, can’t pay the bills, or lose your house? And what about your marriage, that fragile thread you’ve been holding on to—what if it can’t be patched together anymore? Fear that it’s the end makes your heart heavy. So many ways we experience it. Suddenly, fear and worry aren’t just fleeting thoughts—they become constant companions, walking alongside you.

The Villains
Fear and worry are powerful on their own. Together, they can be destructive. They paralyze you, cloud your judgment, and move you to make decisions driven by their grip. Sure, sometimes fear is warranted, but the kind I’m talking about is the one that keeps you up at night, the one that replays worst-case scenarios over and over in your mind, making you react to things that haven’t even happened yet.

At some point, you may realize—you’re starring in your own horror film. You’re so deep in the narrative, you can’t see your way out.

But here’s the truth we need to hear: God's Word tells us in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
And in 1 Peter 5:7, we are reminded: “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”

This isn’t just advice—it’s a lifeline. Life is tough. We face challenges and realities we can’t escape. But living in a constant state of fear and worry won’t solve anything. It only traps us in our own minds.

Rewriting the Plot
So, when fear and worry begin to overwhelm you, stop. Pause. Take a breath. Here are some action steps to help you shift the narrative.

Pause and Breathe: When fear starts to overwhelm you, stop. Breathe deeply. Allow your shoulders to relax. This simple pause gives you a moment of clarity and control.
Ask Yourself: What Does This Fear Change?: What is this fear really changing in my life? What does it do for me? Be honest. Fear won’t give you answers. It won’t protect you. It only steals your peace and joy. If you can’t find a reasonable answer, name the fear for what it is.
Name Your Fear: Call out the specific fear or worry you're feeling. Whether it’s about your job, your health, or your relationships, naming it helps you take control instead of letting it control you.
Ask: How Are You Reacting to It?: How are you responding to this fear? Are you avoiding it? Freezing in place? Acting on it without considering the consequences? Your response can reveal whether fear is guiding your actions.
Speak the Truth: Speak the truth out loud. What is the actual truth behind the fear? Is the fear based on reality or built on worst-case scenarios? Reaffirm the truth of God's promises and the reality of your situation. Remember, God's peace transcends all understanding.
Choose a Different Response: Finally, choose a different response. Shift your focus away from the fear and look at God. He is beside you, unwavering, even when everything feels chaotic. Let His presence guide you to peace.

God is Peace! He doesn’t promise we’ll be sheltered from life’s storms, but He does promise to be with us in them. In His peace, we can remind ourselves that He is in control.

Let the birds swirl. Let the storm rage. But you—you are not running. You are standing firm, grounded in the peace of God, trusting that He’s got you. You don’t have to fight fear and worry alone. Bring them to Him, and you will receive peace that surpasses all understanding. Peace that guards your heart. Peace that strengthens you to face whatever comes.

And now, here’s the plot twist: This isn’t the end of your story. You get to rewrite it. Change the scene. Give your story a different ending—one filled with hope, strength, and peace. The birds may circle, the storm may howl, but you’ve chosen to stand in the calm, trusting in the One who holds your future. That, my friend, is how you change the narrative. Let His peace be the final word in your story.

by Omaira Gonzalez

anxiety

faith

spiritual

mental health

Language English

Just Because I Can, Doesn't Mean I Should: Embracing the Beauty of Boundaries

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Mon, 07 Apr 2025 16:56:57 +0000

Just Because I Can, Doesn't Mean I Should: Embracing the Beauty of Boundaries

anny@familybri… Mon, 04/07/2025 - 11:56 Apr 7, 2025

My husband and I are what you might call “project people.” If there isn’t a home project happening, one will mysteriously appear. It’s like we have some inner radar that senses an untouched corner of the world that just needs a little update.

Most recently, we found ourselves in Florida, standing in the middle of a Florida room that clearly had potential. Naturally, we decided it was time to rip up the carpet and polish the concrete floors—because what else do you do on vacation?

Now let me set the scene: my husband rents this massive machine and pulls into the driveway. “I need help getting it out of the trunk,” he says. That was the moment I should have asked more questions. I walk over and lay eyes on what can only be described as a beast, a large dinosaur. “How did you get this thing in here?” I ask. “Oh,” he says, “two guys at the store helped me.” Hmm. Not a great sign.

But hey, I’m strong. I rolled up my sleeves, braced myself, and somehow managed to help him get the thing down without shattering my spine. The rest of the day was a soggy blur of grinding cement, power-washing in ankle-deep water, and trying not to slip. We were cold, soaked, exhausted, and ready to call it a day when—surprise!—we had to lift the beast back into the car.

Somewhere between the wet clothes and the numbing cold, I muttered a phrase that stuck with me: “Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.”

The Power of Saying No

That phrase—simple as it is—has become a powerful reflection point. How often do we find ourselves saying yes just because we can? Whether it’s work, ministry, social events, helping others, or even household projects, we often jump in with good intentions but little regard for our limits.

But here’s what I have learned: Saying no isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s acknowledging your God-given limitations and choosing to live well within them. It’s knowing that the fence around your yard isn’t there to trap you—it’s there to protect you, and to help you flourish within the space you’ve been given.

Biblical Wisdom on Boundaries

The Bible speaks often about the importance of healthy limits and self-awareness:

Ecclesiastes 3:1 – “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Not every project or opportunity is for right now.
Psalm 16:6 – “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” God’s boundaries are good—meant to bless, not restrict.
Mark 6:31 – “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
Even Jesus knew the importance of stepping away to rest and reset.

Learning to Love the Fence

Sometimes we peer over the fence and long for what’s on the other side—someone else’s season, calling, energy level, blessings, or accomplishments. But the truth is, what’s inside your fence is beautiful, too. It’s the space where you can grow, heal, enjoy, and thrive. It’s where you begin to live out your story—the one God specifically gave to you.

Carrying too much—even good things—can lead to unnecessary strain and injury, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Just like I could’ve seriously hurt myself lifting that cement grinder, our “yeses” can weigh us down when we don’t pause to consider the cost.

Boundaries give us space to breathe, to be present, and to say “yes” to what truly aligns with our current season.

Reflection

So, here’s my gentle encouragement to you (and to myself): Pause before you say yes. Ask yourself—not just “Can I?”—but “Should I?” Trust the boundary lines. They’re drawn in love.

And remember: You don’t have to carry everything. Even the heavy stuff in the trunk.

by Omaira Gonzalez

boundaries

relationships

stress

spiritual

faith

Language English

You’re Not a Cow. You’re a Buffalo.

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 13:12:30 +0000

You’re Not a Cow. You’re a Buffalo.

anny@familybri… Mon, 03/17/2025 - 08:12 Mar 17, 2025

I’m sitting across from a friend I haven’t seen in a while. You know how those first few minutes go—rapid-fire updates, quick laughs, filling in the gaps of time lost. But then, her tone shifts.

She begins to share a story I never knew about her. And as she speaks, I find myself leaning in, eyes widening, trying to wrap my head around the sheer magnitude of what she’s been through.

I watch as her eyes flicker between past pain and present strength. Her voice, steady yet laced with the weight of what she has endured, makes me hold my breath. This isn’t just a story—it’s survival. It’s victory. It’s proof that some storms don’t break you; they make you unshakable.

On the outside, she’s the picture of confidence—poised, strong, seemingly unshaken. But that strength wasn’t handed to her; it was earned. Behind that resilience is a journey—one paved with loss, patience, grief, and battles that shook her to her core.

When we parted ways, one thought hit me like a bolt of lightning:
"My goodness, women are made of some tough stuff."

And that thought hasn’t left me since.

They Kept Moving Forward

Over the past few months, I’ve had conversations with so many women—each sharing stories of grief, discouragement, and trials that would leave most people curled up in the fetal position, calling it quits. But you know what they all had in common?

They kept moving forward.
They fought on.
They survived.
They trusted God.

But survival wasn’t just about making it through. It was about fighting for joy, for peace, for the next step. They trusted God when the path seemed impossible, when the answers didn’t come, when faith was the only thing left to cling to.

And somehow, He made a way.

The Buffalo Mentality

One friend told me something her mother once said: "You are like a buffalo."

At first, she laughed, wondering if this was her mother’s loving way of calling her stubborn. But then she explained:

"Buffalos see a storm coming, and they don’t run. They stand firm and walk straight through it. Cows, on the other hand, take one look at the storm and run in the opposite direction—only to get caught in it anyway."

And she was right.

Every woman I’ve spoken to—despite the emotional rollercoaster, the heartbreak, the impossible situations—walked through the storm. They didn’t crumble. They didn’t surrender. They faced it head-on and kept going.

It wasn’t easy. Many times, they felt discouraged. But they didn’t let the storm define them. They moved forward anyway.

God’s Promise in the Wilderness

But how do you keep walking when everything inside of you wants to give up? When the road ahead looks barren, and you wonder if there’s even a way forward?

God answers that question in Isaiah 43:18-19:

"Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and paths in the wasteland."

This passage is a reminder that even in the wilderness—even when everything feels lost—God is still working, moving, making a way forward.

These women, despite the wilderness and the sorrowful moments, stayed steadfast and found new possibilities.

Women Are Built Different

Women are built with an unshakable resilience—an endurance that defies logic.

Life throws the unthinkable at them, moments so extreme they should have shattered. But instead?

They rise.
They find strength in God.
They find strength in their community.
They find strength in a hug, a conversation, in the quiet whispers of encouragement from the ones who love them.

And they don’t just survive. They conquer.

Buffalos Don’t Break

So when life rages like a storm, and the wind howls at your door, don’t shrink back. Stand tall. Move forward. Face it.

Because you? You were made for this.

You are not fragile.
You are not alone
You are not easily shaken.
You are tough as a buffalo.

And buffalos? They don’t break.

by Omaira Gonzalez

faith

spiritual

stress

character

Language English

The Layers of Grief: A Journey of Healing and Hope

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 19:54:17 +0000

The Layers of Grief: A Journey of Healing and Hope

anny@familybri… Tue, 03/04/2025 - 13:54 Mar 4, 2025

Describing grief is complicated. It has many layers, each stirring emotions we never expected. We often hear about the seven stages of grief—shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance—but knowing them intellectually and experiencing them are two different realities. Grief is not a straight path; it is a rollercoaster, with sudden drops, slow climbs, and moments where we feel completely upside down. Some days bring clarity and peace, while others leave us gasping for air under the weight of sorrow.

In the past two to three years, I have grieved the loss of several family members. Each loss felt like another loop in that rollercoaster—sometimes steady, sometimes spinning out of control. There were days of quiet reflection, and others where the ache was overwhelming. Grief is never easy, and it is always deeply personal.

But grief is not only about losing loved ones. We grieve in many ways—the loss of a job, the end of a friendship, moving away from a home that once held so much life and laughter. These moments remind us that grief is not just about death; it is about change, about learning how to live in a world that looks different than it once did. And acceptance? It does not happen overnight. It is a slow unfolding, a gradual embracing of a new reality.

Grief is also felt in the shifting landscapes of our world—the tragedies we see, the struggles of those we love, the uncertainty of the future. We grieve when life as we knew it changes unexpectedly, when what once felt secure is suddenly shaken. In those moments of doubt and fear, where do we turn?

Two Bible verses come to mind:

Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
Philippians 4:6: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Even in our most broken moments, God is near. Even in the chaos of grief, He reminds us not to be anxious, but to bring everything to Him in prayer. Anything means exactly that—everything that burdens us. But how we see this promise makes all the difference. Grief can either keep us bound in sorrow or lead us to the One who can carry it for us.

Recently, I read about the concept of frame of reference—the lens through which we see the world. This idea has been transformative for me in navigating grief. Our perspective on loss can shape how we heal. Shifting our lens does not erase pain, but it helps us find meaning in it.

In saying goodbye to some remarkable men, the pain was real. Yet, as we shared their stories—their kindness, their humor, the lessons they left behind—I realized something powerful: grief is not just about what we lose, but also about what remains. Their impact, their love, and their legacy live on in those of us who continue forward.

Maybe that is what grief teaches us: that even in loss, there is something to hold onto. And as we shift our focus—seeing not just the void but the love that endures—we begin to heal. Not by forgetting, but by carrying forward what mattered most.

So, how can you support others who are grieving while also honoring your own healing process? By holding space for both pain and hope. By sharing memories, offering kindness, and allowing yourself to feel without fear of moving forward. Because healing does not mean leaving behind—it means learning to carry love differently. And in that, there is hope.

by Omaira Gonzalez

tragedy

trauma

change

faith

spiritual

Language English

IF we pause long enough...we can see Him too

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 18:51:14 +0000

IF we pause long enough...we can see Him too

anny@familybri… Tue, 01/14/2025 - 12:51 Jan 14, 2025

Caregiving is an adventure—one filled with laughter, tears, and moments that make you question your sanity. As I got off the phone with a dear friend updating me on her life as a caregiver for her parents, we couldn’t help but laugh at some of the unexpected quirks that come with the role. She shared how her mom keeps insisting she go away with her husband, assuring her that they’re fine, yet they won’t eat unless she’s there to make sure they do. I shared a story about how my mother meticulously keeps track of the long list of tasks she wants me to do but can’t seem to remember to take her vitamins or medication.

We bonded over the shared chaos of balancing endless needs, and the moments that somehow feel both heartwarming and completely exhausting. We laughed, commiserated, and even grieved together over the sacrifices caregiving requires. At the end of the call, she thanked me for listening, saying, “It’s good to talk to someone who gets it.” And that’s when it hit me: sometimes, all we really need is someone who understands. Someone to hear us out, provide a safe space to vent, and remind us that we’re not alone.

Isn’t that what we all crave during the difficult seasons of life? To feel seen, heard, and understood?

That conversation sparked something in me. I started reaching out to others in my circle who were also caregivers. Despite the unique circumstances of each story, one theme rang true for us all: we want to be seen. We long to feel visible, validated, and supported—not forgotten or overshadowed by the responsibilities that consume us.

Isaiah 40:27 reminds us:
God sees people in all circumstances, including in times of weakness, hurt, and waiting.

How comforting it is to know that God sees us—truly sees us—in every moment of this caregiving journey. Even when the path feels thankless, heavy, or unrelenting, His gaze doesn’t waver. He sees us through it all.

He sees you:

When you feel defeated, watching your loved one deteriorate despite your best efforts, receiving one bad report after another.
When you make sacrifices, giving up parts of yourself to show your loved one they are cherished and not alone, even when you feel lonely yourself.
When you juggle responsibilities, trying to balance your life while making critical decisions for someone else, hoping you’re getting it right.
When you advocate fiercely, even though no one advocates for you.
When your strength wanes, and you feel like there’s nothing left to give—yet you find a grain of resolve to face another day.
When you feel angry, sad, or desperate, emotions swirling as you carry this heavy load.
When you laugh alone, trying to lighten the weight of the day, knowing tears aren’t far behind.

He sees you giving selflessly, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

I’ve found solace in the knowledge that I can retreat into His arms, sharing my frustrations, sadness, and exhaustion with Him. He sees me, and because He sees me, He listens. And if we pause long enough, we can see Him too.

We see Him:

In every call from a friend who says they’re praying for us.
In neighbors who show up with food or an offer to help.
In doctors and nurses who provide support and resources when we feel lost.
In the strength we find each morning to rise, even when we feel weak.
In the unexplainable peace that sustains us through the grief.
In His unfailing love, sitting with us in our darkest moments.

God doesn’t just see us—He shows up for us. The question is, in what ways have you seen Him?

Take a moment to reflect. Where has His presence been evident in your journey? Whether in a kind gesture, a moment of peace, or an unexpected blessing, He is there, walking alongside you every step of the way.

by Omaira Gonzalez

faith

extended family

spiritual

Language English

When You Don't Want to Forgive

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Wed, 08 Mar 2023 01:53:34 +0000

When You Don't Want to Forgive

anny@familybri… Tue, 03/07/2023 - 19:53 Mar 7, 2023

“I don’t know if I am an optimist, I mean, I haven’t really had anything terrible happen to me.” My husband and I exchanged glances as we listened to our 13-year old son’s assessment about whether or not he’s an optimist.

The last five months have been a bit of an ordeal in our home as my son has had to go on a very restrictive diet due to a candida yeast, which took a hold after he was on some antibiotics last Fall. Candida thrives on sugar so it has meant our family has had our lives turned upside down as we figured out how to satiate the hunger of a growing 13-year old without carbs.

At first, I responded a bit dismissively, not fully registering the complications of the situation and assuming some topicals and a “little diet” would take care of the issue. Months later after trying one medicine after another along with some recommended herbal/natural treatments with little to no improvement, the gravity of the situation began to sink in. One day, I was advocating for adding more creative foods to the diet while my husband remained adamant about sticking to the strict diet given the research he had done. As our discussion ended in a gridlock, I went for a hike to let out some steam. As I turned the situation over in my head, I initially slid into the typical self-righteous dialogue that reinforced how right I was and how wrong my husband was. In fact, I recall thinking to myself, “Oh no, this time, there is no way I am apologizing.” Except this time, as these thoughts sought to harden my heart, they were met by the scriptures. Verses from a sermon I had recently listened to came to mind,

“ A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Luke 6:45

“Okay, you win,” I relented to God and began the hard work of sifting through the frustration and anger that was simmering in my heart. After taking a moment to let myself feel how unsettling everything had been and venting about losing a sense of control, I was able to let go of my defenses. There are at least 10 defensive mechanisms psychologists have identified that shed light on why it's so tough for us to work through the pain we experience (e.g., denial, repression, rationalization, ignoring, avoiding and so on). Humans are experts at avoiding pain.

If you can push past this resistance and allow yourself to face the pain you’re experiencing, you can then surrender the pain to the cross and begin the healing process. The second hard task requires you to be merciful with yourself and with your loved ones. When you're angry, upset, and feeling self-absorbed, it's so hard to turn over a new leaf and consider what the other person is going through, what their pain points are, and where they’re coming from.

Even though my heart was not in it, I decided to listen to the Holy Spirit and to follow my own advice. So I turned my back on my pride and considered where my husband was coming from. Just asking myself the question, “How does he see it?” opened up my frame of mind. It took my focus away from myself and allowed me to see a bigger picture that softened my heart.

Instead of trying to make winning arguments, we listened to each other’s stories. When my husband was five years old he was hospitalized for 10 months and at the time, out of an abundance of caution, his pregnant mother did not come to visit him. Seeing our son go through an illness that escaped his ability to fix the situation resurfaced the heightened sense of helplessness, abandonment and fear he experienced as a child. Once we could appreciate the motivation behind the responses we each had, forgiveness came easily and we were able to strategize and get back to working together as a team. We fell into a healthier rhythm and could extend a generous helping of grace towards one another.

Couples do this. They pull away from each other in a rebellious urge to exercise some independence of thought and ideas, and to de-escalate from the intensity of the moment. And this is not necessarily a bad thing. Actually, it's good to air out differences and we encourage couples to take a time-out before things escalate or get out of hand. However, what we do when we take a break matters. If we let bitterness take root in our hearts, it can lead to contempt. If we frequently run to other things that offer an “escape” for a moment and fail to deal with the issue at all, we create dividing walls between us and our loved ones and can even develop addictions and entrenched behaviors that leave us feeling trapped. This pattern of behavior leads to self-isolation and further alienation from those we love. Deciding to come together is a journey that requires us to put our egos aside and that process isn’t easy. Thankfully, Christ has already shown us the way, “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). What a relief it is to know that we don’t have to do this alone! We can go to God to carry the burden for us and rely on him to carve a beautiful path through the hardship.

The joy we experience together as a family today is something I am deeply grateful for. I am blessed to have a loving husband who is supportive in our ministry and family life in many practical ways. These moments of contentment and peace have flowed out of daily decisions to live out the marriage covenant in a way that is honoring to God. It is not something that just happens on its own. In fact, our natural tendency is to pull away and live for the self, not to be united in mind and of one accord.

We need lots of reminders along the way to stay on course. We’ve been incredibly blessed to have these reminders sprinkled throughout our marriage by attending couples retreats, participating in small groups with other couples where we can pray with one another and hold each other up, and by serving together.

I don’t know what challenging situation(s) you may be going through right now, but I do know seasons come and go and yet one thing remains constant—Christ is ever before us.

I hope you’ll take some time to check out some of the resources and ideas listed below to help you grow in your faith and marriage this season:

Featured Resources:

Couples Workshops & Small Groups: Commit to doing life with other couples. I recently met with a group of volunteers trained under our AVANCE program who have been meeting and serving together for five years. They shared how their community had helped them stay married, stay encouraged, and stay hopeful. There are many ministries and programs, like AVANCE, that equip leaders and provide support to help churches launch a sustainable and flourishing marriage and family ministry. And these programs work. In fact, a recently completed five year study of AVANCE showed that participants who participated in all six of the program offerings experienced a 12.6% increase in their marital health and satisfaction. I hope you’ll reach out to us to learn about some of our options or to launch a group in your community if you don’t already have one. You can start a group in your neighborhood, church, kids school and even at your place of work.

Getaways: Family Life has many couples getaways throughout the year where you can take some time to be enriched in your marriage. And now, there are 9 retreats available in Spanish! Check it out HERE.

Featured Book: Check out the new book just released by Shaunti Feldhan and Dr. Michael Sytsma on the secrets of sex and marriage. In fact, if you are in the Chicagoland area, you can listen to Shaunti Feldhan in person at our May 23rd event. Click HERE to learn more or register for this event.

Streaming: Watch some movies together. In fact, one study has shown that simply watching movies and incorporating a discussion about the relationship dynamics of the couples on screen can have very positive effects on your marriage. Don’t know what to watch? Start by streaming The Chosen. Season 3 includes some riveting scenes centered around a few of the hard issues couples often face. Check it out.

Counseling: Reach out to us for counseling referrals or to participate in an intensive couples retreat.

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

conflict

forgiveness

compromise

marriage

faith

Language English

Faith, Resilience, and the Gentle Strength of Encouragement

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 05 Nov 2024 18:25:32 +0000

Faith, Resilience, and the Gentle Strength of Encouragement

anny@familybri… Tue, 11/05/2024 - 12:25 Nov 5, 2024

As I descended from the stage, my mind still buzzing with the echoes of my speech to faith-driven business leaders, a gentle voice from the crowd halted me. It wasn't about my words or our actions; instead, she felt a pressing nudge to pray for me. Her heartfelt prayer and blessings were like a soothing balm to my soul, enveloping me in warmth and comfort.

During that period of time a few years ago, my heart felt burdened as I navigated through one of the toughest challenge our organization had ever faced. One day while in DC, within a span of a six hours, I was hit with devastating funding cuts from two major sources, totaling a staggering million dollars. This forced us into the heartbreaking position of having to reduce staff, scale back programs, and, most painfully, risk losing the hard-earned trust of our community leaders in regions impacted.

The prayer lifted me and reminded me that just like God had rescued the Israelites from the hands of the Egyptians and brought them to himself not just once but repeatedly, that he too would carry us through. I was reminded that He had called me and my family for a greater purpose and that my job was simply to faithfully obey.

How have you been encouraged in your life?

Encouragement is a transformative force that can uplift and inspire. It can spread like a contagious wave, much like the infectious energy of a team you cheer for, filling you with the exhilarating hope of their triumph. Or it can come subtly, softly through a heartfelt prayer, a kind word, an affirming message, or even a powerful song that touches the very fabric of your soul. Beyond these, think of the joy in recalling God's extraordinary works in your life and the promises that guide your journey. These moments resonate differently from the thrill of reaching a hard-won goal, yet they energize you with a fresh sense of purpose.

Can you recall a moment when you summoned the strength to rise from bed, even when you were reluctant to conquer the day’s tasks? There is an adorable viral video of a girl sharing positive affirmations in front of a mirror. The concept of self-motivation through personal pep talks has gained traction, fueled by the self-made movement. Sure, one can argue that there are moments that this may help.

Encouragement transcends self-initiated efforts; it is a universal language of support, a potent force that binds and elevates us, fostering deep connections among individuals.

This is probably why it is such a prominent theme in several self-help books, in leadership, enhancing marital satisfaction, in parenting and family science, and embedded in several counseling frameworks. The literature offers some intriguing findings on encouragement. It has been tied to the development of students’ and athletes’ physical fitness, for example, and to fostering family resilience.

It is woven into the very fabric of our mission statement, "end the cycle of family trauma through innovative programs that empower, equip, and encourage underserved communities."

So what is encouragement?

In 1956, psychologist Alfred Adler introduced the idea that encouragement is crucial for human growth. Over time, it has evolved to signify the act of inspiring others, offering assistance, discovering pathways to overcome challenges, conveying a silent yet powerful message of self-worth, and instilling the confidence and courage needed to embrace change.

The Bible is filled with stories, verses, and psalms of worship that inspire us and also prompt us to encourage one another, particularly those who are disheartened (1 Thessalonians 5:11-15). Through the Holy Spirit, God inspires and uplifts us, His words and promises fill us with hope, worship rejuvenates our spirits, and we are empowered to pass that encouragement on to others.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

(Hebrews 10:24-25)

Life's challenges---from the shadows of despair and anxiety to the trials of job loss, relationship struggles, or global crises---are inevitable. Yet, within the pages of the Bible, we discover a wellspring of hope and strength. These verses offer a beacon of light, guiding us back to the unwavering promises of God, reminding us that no matter the storm, there is always a path to renewal and faith.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

(Isaiah 41:10)

The need is great. Consider these staggering statistics: a 167% rise in suicide rates among children aged 10-14, a 138% surge in anxiety among young adults aged 18-25, and 81% of employees reporting that their jobs negatively affect their mental health.

In a world where isolation can feel overwhelming, community acts as a beacon of hope, creating a nurturing environment where encouragement thrives. It possesses a healing power that resonates deep within the soul, igniting the heart and sparking transformation. I am privileged to witness the profound impact of uplifting others during their darkest times, watching as they blossom with newfound strength. The call for encouragement is urgent and pervasive. I invite you to join us in this vital mission to make a difference.

Someone in your home needs encouragement today.

Someone in your neighborhood needs encouragement today.

Someone you work with needs encouragement today.

Encourage them by. . .

Listening: Create space to take them in and truly listen to their heart. Avoid jumping in quickly with unsolicited solutions.

Being Vulnerable: Reveal your journey through a difficult chapter in your life, highlighting how His guidance and support led you to triumph.

Showing Up: Encourage someone by showing up to the celebrations, the experiences they invite you to be a part, the dreams they share with you.

Praying for them: Ask how you can pray for someone and follow-up, praying with them and for them.

Pointing to their strengths: Recognize their strengths, what they bring to the table, and how they matter.

Inviting them to remember: Invite them to recollect a time they overcame a struggle or a challenge and to reflect on what helped them pull through.

Being genuinely grateful: This month, we pause and remember the blessings God has architected for our life, his favor and good will for us. We get to slow down and express our gratitude to those we love and cherish. And gratitude is one powerful way we can encourage one another. Gratitude softens hardened hearts, breaks through contempt, paves a path for healing, and gives you joy.

There are so many ways you can encourage others today. You can make a difference today in someone's life.

Who will you encourage today?

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

faith

community

friendship

kindness

empathy

spiritual

Language English

The Warrior's Journey: Enter the Cave

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 23:40:06 +0000

The Warrior's Journey: Enter the Cave

anny@familybri… Mon, 07/29/2024 - 18:40 Jul 29, 2024

In all good stories, there comes a point where the warrior must transform into the person needed to accomplish their mission. Despite our wishes, often we are not the person we need to be to reach our destination; we are only the person needed for the journey. To attain our calling—whether it be a job, a healthy relationship, or a deeper relationship with Jesus—it is necessary to step into transformation from who we are to what is needed. I call this act of transformation “entering the cave.”

In many of our culture’s famous stories, the protagonist undergoes a personal transformation by literally entering a cave. In the cave, the hero is vulnerable, scared, and must face a fatal flaw or obstacle within themselves, transforming into something new to meet the task at hand. Bruce Wayne could not become Batman until he faced his ironic fear of bats in the cave and transformed into something new. Similarly, Luke Skywalker, while training under Master Yoda to become a Jedi, had to enter a cave and confront his deepest fear—that he and Darth Vader are no different. Luke had to come to terms with the potential of becoming just like his arch-nemesis.

A favorite example of mine is from "The Lord of the Rings" and involves Aragorn, the rightful heir to the kingdom of Gondor, who hides as a ranger named Strider. Embarrassed and ashamed of some decisions his ancestors made, he rejects the throne. To save Middle-earth, however, Aragorn must enter a cave and perform a task only the King of Gondor could accomplish, confronting and redeeming his ancestral shame and becoming the thing he was avoiding his whole life. He enters as a ranger and exits as a king.

These are modern media’s most famous warriors, but they only became warriors inside the cave—the place of facing fears, flaws, and truths about themselves, allowing the necessary transformation to happen.

Not all warriors fight literal battles or save the world. Some of the best never lifted their hand against another. In the book of Genesis, we see this play out. Abraham had two sons: Esau and Jacob. Esau was exactly what we imagine when we think of a warrior—big, hairy, and loved hunting. Jacob, on the other hand, was a mama’s boy. Instead of hunting, he learned how to cook and lacked the overtly masculine physique of his older brother. True to his name, which meant “deceiver,” Jacob used his cunning to trick his brother and father, stealing the family blessing—the most valuable thing in the family. When Esau discovered the trickery, he decided to kill Jacob. Knowing he could not win a physical confrontation, Jacob fled and received a vision from God promising protection. Yet, Jacob continued his deceitful ways, tricking his father-in-law out of wealth and again found himself on the run.

Jacob's turning point came when he found himself between Esau's territory and his enraged father-in-law. With no options left, Jacob entered solitude that night and wrestled with God, demanding a blessing and refusing to let go. During this struggle, God dislocated Jacob’s hip and asked, “What is your name?” When Jacob answered, God changed his name to Israel, meaning “one who wrestles with God and men and is victorious.” Only after this transformation did God bless Jacob, now Israel, allowing him to continue his journey. This change was beyond aesthetic or surface-level identity; it happened in the deepest recesses of his heart. He became the person who could accomplish what was previously impossible. He made peace with both his father-in-law and brother, becoming a wiser, more ethical father who understood the need for divine provision over his own cunningness. Jacob could never do these things; Israel, however, could. Though not perfect and faced with many trials, Israel was never lacking because he had become the person needed to fulfill God's calling.

We are all becoming something, whatever it may be. Bruce Wayne could have become a murderer, Luke Skywalker like Darth Vader, and Aragorn the type of coward his ancestors were. Instead, they entered the cave and confronted the exact thing keeping them from becoming what was needed for what laid ahead of them. What is the “cave” in our life we need to enter? Is there an aspect of our life we are afraid of addressing, or feel powerless to overcome? Is there a part of our hearts that, though perfect for answering God's call, needs transformation to fulfill His plan? Enter that cave with fear and trembling, understanding that transformation is hard work and requires faithful surrender to God and trust in the help of others. But the result surpasses our wildest expectations. We don’t just become a better us, but a new, greater thing altogether.

by Nathan Whitaker

faith

Language English

Here and Now

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 18:59:29 +0000

Here and Now

anny@familybri… Tue, 04/23/2024 - 13:59 Apr 23, 2024

As I recently watched a show, the storyline depicted a man struggling with the loss of his wife in a tragic accident, leaving him to raise their newborn daughter alone. Scenes unfolded revealing his struggles with grief while navigating the challenges of single parenthood. In one tearful moment, he puts his baby down for the night, only to find her five years older the next morning. It was a stark portrayal of fast-forwarding through the hardships and uncertainties of life.

This fictional scenario deeply resonated with me, and struck a chord within me, prompting me to reflect on those moments when I longed to skip life's trials and tribulations. Too often, I've caught myself swept up in the whirlwind of life, so preoccupied with my own thoughts, challenges, and agendas and failing to notice the needs of those around me. While I may not have possessed a literal fast-forward button, my relentless rush through life’s demands often felt like speeding through moments, missing the profound opportunities present in the here and now.

Yet, as much as we may wish otherwise, life refuses to conform to our desires for shortcuts. Instead, we are beckoned to embrace its full tapestry, full with moments of both triumph, disruption, and pain. It is within these trials—moments of loss, disappointment, rejection, and grief—that life teaches us invaluable lessons that unearth the depths of our resilience and fortitude, emerging even stronger and more resilient.

Through my own journey, I've learned to not only accept but embrace the highs and lows of life. I've found solace in grief, treasured the moments of pure joy, and cultivated patience amidst daily frustrations. I have learned the importance of decluttering my mind, being present in the here and now, and actively noticing others, ready to extend a helping hand when needed. Every trial, disruption, and opportunity has served as a stepping stone on the journey of personal growth and character development, imparting invaluable lessons along the way.

In our quest for growth and self-discovery, it's all too easy to become lost in memories of the past or preoccupied with the future. Yet, the wisdom of Psalm 118:24 gently reminds us to find joy and gratitude in the present moment, for it is a gift from above.

Looking to the example set by Jesus, we find a gleam of unwavering presence and compassion in the midst of life's storms. His ministry was marked by a profound sense of awareness and engagement with each moment, even in the face of unimaginable suffering.

So, let us not squander the precious gift of life; instead, let's welcome each moment with open arms. Stay grounded in the Here and Now, and take the time to appreciate the opportunities to serve others, be present for your family and friends, and to extend kindness to your neighbor. Rather than rushing through life, let's embrace both the joyful and challenging moments, discovering God's boundless grace, love, and strength that will sustain us on our journey.

by Omaira Gonzalez

faith

spiritual

time

life

Language English

Dealing with Unwanted Guests

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Thu, 04 Apr 2024 22:46:35 +0000

Dealing with Unwanted Guests

anny@familybri… Thu, 04/04/2024 - 17:46 Apr 4, 2024

Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly hosting an unwelcome guest? Perhaps they lingered longer than you anticipated, casting a shadow over your home and your peace of mind. I vividly recall such an encounter, when a guest unexpectedly arrived at my doorstep. Unprepared and lacking the space to accommodate such a visitor, I did my best to entertain them and listen to their tales. However, as time passed, this guest’s presence grew more oppressive, filling my home with negativity and uncertainty about the future.

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, I confided in a trusted friend, who wisely advised me to show this guest the door. Recognizing the toxic influence it was having on my life, I made the courageous decision to evict this guest, named Doubt, from my home. It was a moment of obedience to the guidance of my friend, Jesus, and it brought a profound shift in my perspective.

By removing Doubt from my life, I opened the door to God's faithfulness and witnessed His provision, miracles and grace in abundance. Letting go of Doubt allowed me to embrace a future filled with hope and confidence in His promises. Sometimes, evicting negative influences is the first step toward creating a space where faith and positivity can flourish.

From time to time, we may find ourselves facing unwelcome guests knocking on the doors of our hearts and minds—guests like Fear, Doubt, Anger, Anxiety, Sadness, Guilt, and others. Their sole aim is to distract us and pull us away from God's truth, leading us towards a hardened heart and further from His presence.

In dealing with these unwanted visitors, I've learned some valuable lessons:

Acknowledge: Instead of ignoring their presence, it's important to acknowledge that these feelings and emotions are there, residing in our hearts and minds, even if they are unwelcome. Recognizing their existence is the first step towards addressing them.
Courage: Reach out to someone you trust and confide in them about what you're experiencing. It may not be easy to discuss such matters, but sharing them with a trusted individual can shed light on our blind spots and provide clarity. Talking things through can help us understand where these emotions are coming from and how to navigate them effectively.
Decide: If these emotions serve no purpose in our lives and only bring negativity, it's crucial to work towards evicting them. Seek out healthy outlets such as mindfulness, journaling, exercise, or drawing closer to God through prayer and meditation. Make a conscious decision to challenge and correct negative thought patterns, replacing them with healthier ones that promote growth and peace.

Identifying and addressing these unwanted guests in our lives is essential for our emotional and spiritual well-being. By taking proactive steps to manage them, we can ensure they no longer have a foothold in our hearts and minds.

Reflection Questions:

Can you identify any recurring unwanted guests in your life, such as fear, doubt, or guilt? How do they manifest, and how do you plan to ensure they no longer have a foothold in your heart and mind?
Reflect on a moment when you confided in a trusted friend about a challenging situation. How did their advice or support help you navigate the issue?

by Omaira Gonzalez

faith

anxiety

emotions

Language English