extended family

IF we pause long enough...we can see Him too

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 18:51:14 +0000

IF we pause long enough...we can see Him too

anny@familybri… Tue, 01/14/2025 - 12:51

Jan 14, 2025

Caregiving is an adventure—one filled with laughter, tears, and moments that make you question your sanity. As I got off the phone with a dear friend updating me on her life as a caregiver for her parents, we couldn’t help but laugh at some of the unexpected quirks that come with the role. She shared how her mom keeps insisting she go away with her husband, assuring her that they’re fine, yet they won’t eat unless she’s there to make sure they do. I shared a story about how my mother meticulously keeps track of the long list of tasks she wants me to do but can’t seem to remember to take her vitamins or medication.

We bonded over the shared chaos of balancing endless needs, and the moments that somehow feel both heartwarming and completely exhausting. We laughed, commiserated, and even grieved together over the sacrifices caregiving requires. At the end of the call, she thanked me for listening, saying, “It’s good to talk to someone who gets it.” And that’s when it hit me: sometimes, all we really need is someone who understands. Someone to hear us out, provide a safe space to vent, and remind us that we’re not alone.

Isn’t that what we all crave during the difficult seasons of life? To feel seen, heard, and understood?

That conversation sparked something in me. I started reaching out to others in my circle who were also caregivers. Despite the unique circumstances of each story, one theme rang true for us all: we want to be seen. We long to feel visible, validated, and supported—not forgotten or overshadowed by the responsibilities that consume us.

Isaiah 40:27 reminds us:
God sees people in all circumstances, including in times of weakness, hurt, and waiting.

How comforting it is to know that God sees us—truly sees us—in every moment of this caregiving journey. Even when the path feels thankless, heavy, or unrelenting, His gaze doesn’t waver. He sees us through it all.

He sees you:

When you feel defeated, watching your loved one deteriorate despite your best efforts, receiving one bad report after another.
When you make sacrifices, giving up parts of yourself to show your loved one they are cherished and not alone, even when you feel lonely yourself.
When you juggle responsibilities, trying to balance your life while making critical decisions for someone else, hoping you’re getting it right.
When you advocate fiercely, even though no one advocates for you.
When your strength wanes, and you feel like there’s nothing left to give—yet you find a grain of resolve to face another day.
When you feel angry, sad, or desperate, emotions swirling as you carry this heavy load.
When you laugh alone, trying to lighten the weight of the day, knowing tears aren’t far behind.

He sees you giving selflessly, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

I’ve found solace in the knowledge that I can retreat into His arms, sharing my frustrations, sadness, and exhaustion with Him. He sees me, and because He sees me, He listens. And if we pause long enough, we can see Him too.

We see Him:

In every call from a friend who says they’re praying for us.
In neighbors who show up with food or an offer to help.
In doctors and nurses who provide support and resources when we feel lost.
In the strength we find each morning to rise, even when we feel weak.
In the unexplainable peace that sustains us through the grief.
In His unfailing love, sitting with us in our darkest moments.

God doesn’t just see us—He shows up for us. The question is, in what ways have you seen Him?

Take a moment to reflect. Where has His presence been evident in your journey? Whether in a kind gesture, a moment of peace, or an unexpected blessing, He is there, walking alongside you every step of the way.

by Omaira Gonzalez

faith

extended family

spiritual

Language English

Family & Mixed Election Experiences: Hope vs. Heartache

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Wed, 06 Nov 2024 22:22:10 +0000

Family & Mixed Election Experiences: Hope vs. Heartache

anny@familybri… Wed, 11/06/2024 - 16:22

Nov 6, 2024

As the dust settles from the 2024 Presidential campaign, you might find yourself waking up on Tuesday morning either brimming with optimism or weighed down by disappointment.

This landmark election saw unprecedented voter turnout, reflecting the deep commitment Americans felt towards shaping their future. It was an emotional rollercoaster that tugged at the nation's heartstrings. Consequently, social media was a whirlwind of emotions, with some friends celebrating and others enveloped in sorrow.

What impact does this have on our households? Did families rally together in support of a single party, or were there divides between parents and their children, aunts, and uncles? Even if your nuclear family generally agrees on political matters, you might still find yourself clashing with extended family or friends.

With such intense feelings in the air, how do we navigate these emotions and prepare for the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday or cherished family gatherings?

If you are finding yourself dealing with the whiplash of the election and it is spilling into your living room, you may not be alone.

As you navigate the evolving political climate with your family in the coming weeks and months, pause and take inventory of how you are showing up. Answer the following questions first before you burn the relational bridges that matter the most.

1. Where Is Your Heart?

In the art of communication, aligning with another's emotions is crucial, yet challenging when you're on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. If you're feeling optimistic about what's ahead, it might be hard to open your heart to someone else's experience without dismissing it outright. Conversely, if you're grappling with disappointment, resentment and anger can cloud your ability to engage with others' viewpoints and ideas.

When disappointment strikes, it’s often because our dreams and expectations have veered off course from reality. On the flip side, celebrating a victory fuels our optimism, as our aspirations have not only been realized but surpassed.

Life's major disappointments can serve as pivotal turning points, offering a unique opportunity for growth. However, In moments of disappointment, some channel their dissatisfaction outward, blaming others for unmet expectations, which can breed resentment and bitterness.

Reflect on the emotions stirring within your heart. Identify your fears, jot them down, and seek solace in reflection or prayer. Unacknowledged, these feelings can seep out, turning words into sharp, unintended weapons that wound those around you.

On the flip side, if you're riding a wave of hope and excitement, be mindful of how your enthusiasm might overshadow the need to pause, truly listen, and empathize with others' frustrations. Embrace curiosity about their stories and experiences.

2. What Is Your Disposition?

Each of us is uniquely wired, shaping how we react to life's twists and turns. Last month, I delved into the fascinating ways our personalities influence our responses. Perhaps you're the type who calls it like it is, making bold decisions with confidence, guided by intuition and experience. When faced with setbacks, you don't shy away; instead, you tackle challenges head-on, turning obstacles into opportunities. If you find yourself acting on impulse, especially when emotions run high, you might have moved on swiftly from the elections without a second thought.

However, if you're someone who tends to ponder every detail, weighing options and considering future implications, you might find yourself dwelling on the decision. In this scenario, it's crucial to set boundaries on media consumption and external influences to prevent becoming emotionally overwhelmed.

3. What are Your Values?

Reflect on what truly matters to you and hold your core values close. If family and loved ones top your list, ask yourself if proving a point is worth risking those precious bonds. Choosing family means setting aside disputes and fostering an environment of grace, love, and forgiveness. Embrace a mindset of curiosity and understanding towards others.

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

Language English

A Journey into Caregiving: A Reflection on Caring for My Parents

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Mon, 14 Oct 2024 20:37:01 +0000

A Journey into Caregiving: A Reflection on Caring for My Parents

anny@familybri… Mon, 10/14/2024 - 15:37

Oct 14, 2024

Throughout my life, I’ve heard many perspectives on caregiving, especially when it comes to caring for aging parents. People often say that as a parent, you spend years protecting, providing for, and nurturing your children. Over time, your relationship evolves, and eventually, your children will have families of their own to care for. Yet, there comes a season when the roles reverse, and instead of your children needing you, you find yourself needing them.

But nothing truly prepares you for becoming a caregiver. There’s no warning, no set path, and no one tells you when or how it will happen. For some, it comes in the form of caring for parents with dementia or recovering from a stroke. In my case, it’s caring for both parents simultaneously—one battling terminal cancer and the other facing chronic liver disease. As the only daughter, I have naturally assumed the responsibility of their care.

At first, caregiving feels heroic. You’re doing something noble, something meaningful for the ones you love. But soon, the reality of the situation sets in, and you realize how overwhelming the task can be. There are endless doctor’s appointments, sitting through medical consultations, managing their medications, and keeping track of medical records. Your home begins to transform, adapting to meet their needs, and every corner reminds you of the weight of responsibility.

There are moments when you manage it well, but then there are moments when it all feels too much. That’s when guilt starts to creep in. You feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed, guilty for thinking you’re not doing enough, and guilty for not having all the answers. You question whether you’ve missed something, whether you’re utilizing all the resources available. And then, there’s the loss of freedom. The simple pleasures of life—like getting your nails done or having a moment to yourself—start to fade into the background.

Caregiving, instead of feeling like a crown you wear with pride, often feels more like a thorn on your head.

But here’s what I’ve learned: once you push through the challenges and find your source of strength—mine being Jesus—you begin to understand what it means when the Bible says, "My grace is sufficient for you," and to "count it all joy." Admittedly, it’s not always easy to see the joy in caregiving, but there is joy.

In moments of quiet, when I call upon God, I find a renewed sense of strength and a shift in perspective. My empathy deepens, and caregiving no longer feels like a chore, but a privilege. I’ve come to see it as a blessing, a sacred duty to care for my parents in their time of need. No, I don’t have it all together, but I’ve grown a lot through this journey. I’ve learned to extend grace to myself, to celebrate small victories, and to avoid beating myself up over perceived shortcomings. I’ve also opened my heart to others who are walking a similar path, listening and learning from them.

Caregiving is a true test—of the heart, of physical endurance, and of mental strength. It can be thankless and exhausting, but God has been my source of strength throughout. And I believe that by modeling love, care, and gratitude for my parents, I am planting seeds of compassion in my own children, hoping that one day, they might show me the same kindness if the roles were ever reversed. It’s like casting a pebble into a pond and watching the ripples extend further than you could ever reach.

Some Tips That Have Helped Me Along This Journey:

Rest is essential. As a caregiver, make time to relax when your loved one is resting or engaged in peaceful activities.
Consider speaking with a grief counselor. They can offer useful advice on coping strategies and provide helpful resources.
Make sure to prioritize self-care. Take time to have a meal with a friend, get your hair done, or take a relaxing walk.
Spend time outdoors with your loved one. Fresh air can have a refreshing effect. Whether you're sitting on the porch or taking a walk, the change of scenery can brighten both your moods.
Engage your loved one in activities. Read together or involve them in small tasks like cooking or folding laundry so they can feel included.
Experience nature together. Bring them outside while you tend to the garden or simply sit under the sun. Exposure to fresh air and sunlight can help lift spirits.

Caregiving is not just a duty but a journey—a journey that teaches, humbles, and transforms. It may not always feel easy, but with faith, self-compassion, and the support of others, it can become a beautiful expression of love and grace.