gratitude

Stones of Remembrance: Reflecting on God's Faithfulness

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Mon, 27 Nov 2023 21:40:42 +0000

Stones of Remembrance: Reflecting on God's Faithfulness

anny@familybri… Mon, 11/27/2023 - 15:40 Nov 27, 2023

I am truly grateful for the heartfelt invitation extended by Lori Davis during our church's adult community group gathering for the Thanksgiving program. Her call to "remember" has resonated deeply within me, urging me to reflect on the abundant provision and comforting presence of God in our most vulnerable moments. Drawing parallels from the biblical narrative of David and the symbolism of the twelve stones at Jericho, we were encouraged to contemplate God's enduring promises.

"Don't worry about anything, instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet as you trust in Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 4:6-7 The Living Bible

She provided us with five stones with the assignment to remember similar needs we've faced before and how God has met these needs. As we face the end-of-year race, I find solace in recounting five distinct moments where God's faithfulness has been evident.

One of my stones involved a small church prayer group, where prayers led to my acceptance at Trinity International University South Florida Campus with a full tuition scholarship for my undergraduate studies. Dr. Elizabeth Skjoldal, who is currently at Moody Bible Institute, played a transformative role in my life, offering mentorship and forging crucial connections that propelled me towards my pursuit of graduate studies. It was through these studies that my husband and I found our way to Wheaton in 2001, embarking on a remarkable journey of growth.

Reflecting on all these moments, I recall the heaviness, the overwhelming pressure, the tension as we waited for God's timing, for clarity in the decisions that needed to be made, for guidance in the next wise step.

And something shifted in my heart as I remembered his provision that came in His perfect timing.

There is a reason why the Bible tells us to remember more than 250 times!

In fact, in the realm of marriage programs and therapeutic approaches for couples, it is common practice to encourage partners to reminisce about their journey together, to recount the qualities that drew them to each other, and to reflect on the marriage covenant.

As parents, we also practice this technique. When my children can't locate their shoes, assignments, or craft supplies, I frequently encourage them to reflect on the last place they remember seeing the desired item.

The topic of memories is a complex one, and recent advancements in neuroscience have shed light on how memories are formed and on the process of forgetting. Our brains are naturally designed to filter out information that is deemed unimportant, allowing us to focus on what truly matters. It would be inefficient to constantly be overwhelmed with unnecessary memories. When we do recollect something as simple as someone's name, we form connections between neurons in the brain. These synapses create new circuits between nerve cells, essentially remapping the brain.

As our minds often gravitate towards fear, negative thinking, and bitterness, the act of remembering how God has shown up helps us reshape our natural inclinations. It doesn't diminish the seriousness of the situation at hand, but it eases the burden of tension we carry.

When we take a moment to reflect and express gratitude, we unlock a multitude of extraordinary benefits for our mind, body, and soul. From enhancing self-assurance and cultivating patience to building resilience and increasing pain tolerance, the act of remembrance has a profound impact on our overall well-being.

So, let us pause and remember with gratitude, embracing the countless rewards that come with this practice.

During this season of gratitude, I invite you to also remember the moments that have shaped your journey and create your own stones of remembrance that will inspire and motivate you to keep running the race.

How have you seen God supply all your needs?

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

gratitude

mental health

faith

Language English

The Gratitude Bathroom: Why Being Thankful Every Day Matters

Sara — Thu, 21 Sep 2023 20:39:13 +0000

The Gratitude Bathroom: Why Being Thankful Every Day Matters

Sara Thu, 09/21/2023 - 15:39 Nov 14, 2023

Every time I enter my friend's bathroom, a framed quote catches my eye: "What if you woke up this morning with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" This simple quote never fails to get me thinking and thanking. I immediately thank God for everything, because we can never be too cautious. ;)

This quote is a reminder of the incredible power of gratitude in our daily lives. So, let's explore the profound impact of practicing gratitude daily and how it can sprinkle positivity and abundance into our lives.

The Gratitude Challenge

In our fast-paced lives, it's easy to get swept up in our daily routines, often focusing on what's missing rather than appreciating what we already have. The gratitude quote challenges this tendency and encourages us to shift our perspective. It asks us to actively acknowledge our little and big blessings. When we wake up each day being thankful, we help set a positive and sunny tone for the day ahead.

The Struggle is Real: Modern Parenting · Choosing Gratitude: A Guide to Choosing to be Grateful with your Children feat. Dr. Kelly Flanagan

The Science of Gratitude

Gratitude isn't just a warm, fuzzy feeling; it's supported by solid scientific research that shows its amazing benefits. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can lead to improved mental and physical health, stronger relationships and an overall increase in happiness. When we express gratitude, our brains release dopamine and serotonin, the "feel-good" chemicals, making us feel happier and more content.

But that's not all! Gratitude has this magical power to reduce stress and anxiety by shifting our focus from what's lacking in our lives to what we appreciate. It helps us view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, ultimately boosting our resilience in the face of tough times.

The Ripple Effect of Gratitude

Gratitude is a bit like sharing a smile – it's contagious! When we express thanks and appreciation to others, we not only make their day but also create a ripple effect of positivity. It brings people closer together and strengthens our connections, as everyone loves being around those who appreciate and acknowledge them.

Gratitude can extend beyond our personal circle to our communities and the world. When we're thankful for the resources we have, we're more inclined to care for them and share them with others, leading to a more sustainable and kinder world.

Practical Ways to Embrace Daily Gratitude

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Start and end your day by jotting down three things and people you're thankful for. It's a simple practice that can help you notice and appreciate the good things in your life.
Share Your Thanks: Don't be shy about telling the people in your life how much you appreciate them. A heartfelt "thank you" can brighten anyone's day.
Practice Mindfulness: Be present in the moment and relish the experiences and blessings as they come. Mindfulness can help you savor the everyday beauty in life.
Transform Challenges into Opportunities: Instead of dwelling on difficulties, see them as chances for growth and learning. Embracing adversity with gratitude can lead to personal development and resilience.

What if You Woke Up with Only What You Thanked God for Yesterday?

Take a moment every day to count your blessings, express thanks and look at the world through gratitude-colored glasses. By doing so, we can lead happier, more fulfilling lives and make our world a brighter, better place.

by Sarah Pichardo

gratitude

Language English

On Wanting More

Sara — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 08:00:47 +0000

On Wanting More

Sara Wed, 12/14/2016 - 02:00 Nov 23, 2020

Can you recall the last item you coveted after for a while?

Once you purchased what you really wanted, how long did it take before you found another shiny item that caught your attention? We are just entering the Christmas season, and with it, we have already begun to get bombarded with targeted ads and promos tailored to match our wish list.

Wanting more is hard-wired into our DNA. It is a value of the capitalist culture we live in. Wanting more has led us to fight against conformity and to grow. Wanting more...

Motivates us to fix what is broken.
Motivates parents to create opportunities for our children to thrive in.
Helps us create goals and milestones at work to help us excel.
Keeps us on running in the game of life.

Sometimes, though, our demanding nature spills over to our relationships.

If you are married, you expect your spouse to act this way or the other. If you are a parent, you have expectations for how your children should behave. Defining your expectations is a good thing, except when they are entirely unreasonable.

What happens when your wants exceed your capacity or the reality of others around you? Maybe you want a big home but can’t afford the mortgage that comes with it. Or perhaps you want your child to try out for varsity sports when he doesn’t care for sports. Or maybe you want to have dinner parties at your home, and your spouse is an introvert. When we hold on to expectations or desires that are unrealistic and impose these on our loved ones, bitterness and resentment can brew.

When we don’t hold our wants in check, dissatisfaction can take hold of our spirit. We begin to snap at our loved ones for not doing this or that. We nitpick at the smallest infractions. We become restless, creating a laundry list of disappointing to-dos that have been left unchecked.

Since we are bent towards wanting more, we will stack up the expectations on our children and spouses, often in destructive ways to the relationship. It comes in the form of nagging. And such nagging and criticism after a while create inertia.

We stop feeling motivated to do and instead settle back or drag along. When we arrive at the juncture that offers two pathways: the road of wanting leading to growth and the road of wanting leading to inertia, how do we know which road we should choose?

The good news is that we don’t have to choose if we adopt an attitude of generosity.

Generosity is the key that lets us want without drowning us in the process. Generosity is how much we give of each other. It can be the small details of making a loved one a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, taking out the garbage, and giving someone flowers and chocolate.

When we give, we can aspire for more without giving up our souls in the process. A generous and grateful attitude helps us keep our hearts in check.

Giving melts away the ice that can build up when our greed gets the best of us. And giving helps us stay satisfied and happy. A national survey found that couples who scored the highest on a generosity scale were far more likely to report being “very happy” in their marriages.

Would you like to be happy in your marriage and in your most cherished relationships? Be thankful to everyone, always. Adopt a spirit of gratitude 365 days a year. The reality is that you will always want more from your loved ones – what they do for you today is never enough. You will crave for more than what they can ever give you. If you dwell over what you feel you don’t have, resentment and even contempt can move in, making you incredibly unhappy and mean.

Make it a goal to be generous and thankful every day, and you will be content. Send a text to your loved one, write notes, give them kisses and hugs, tell them why you're thankful for them, tell them you appreciate them, value them, lift them up, cheer them on, give them the gift of a break from the kids, give them the gift of time as they carve out some time with friends.

As you give and give and give love to them, your wants and desires will no longer consume you.

Giving, loving, and appreciating will generate in you the desire to give more instead of just wanting more.

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

gratitude

kindness

giving

Language English

Cuatro consejos para enseñarles a nuestros hijos a ser agradecidos

Sara — Thu, 03 Nov 2016 19:31:32 +0000

Four tips to teach children to be grateful

Sara Mon, 11/16/2020 - 07:48 Nov 3, 2016

Over dinner, my 11-year-old daughter said to me, "Mom, I need a cell phone. I was thinking about the iPhone 6, but I like the iPhone 7 too." Her statement amused me, and although my immediate, knee-jerk reaction was a resounding "NO", I took the opportunity to teach her a basic finance principle. I asked her, "Do you need a phone, or do you want a phone?" To which she responded, "Need!" with firm conviction. Dinner ended with a good conversation where we talked about the difference between "I want" and "I need."

Parents, many times we ask ourselves: "Why are my children not happy with what they have?"; "Why do they have this unquenchable desire for more?"; "Why are they so ungrateful?" Wanting and desiring things is part of our human nature. We have basic impulses, and one of them is to acquire. The basic desire of wanting more isn't always a bad thing. It's what makes us curious about our world. It fuels our ambitions and makes us passionate about life. But if we leave this urge alone and make no attempt to control it, it can lead to unhappiness and a lack of satisfaction in life. This is what we see in our children: the urge to acquire in its purest form. As parents, our job is to channel their desires, helping them achieve balance by not giving them everything.

How can we help our young children and adolescents have a balanced life? Teach them to be grateful. Here are four tips to help you teach your children to be thankful.

Teach them the value of money

A practical and affordable way to teach your children the value of money is to take them shopping with you. By pointing out the price of things and comparing them with others, they will learn to decipher between expensive and cheap.

If your children are already in their pre-adolescence and adolescence years, you can involve them in creating the monthly household budget, where they can see the cost of rent, food, cars, school, etc. At these ages, you can also give them a weekly allowance. Explain that they will need to budget wisely, spending first on the most necessary things.

If they run out of money early, DO NOT replenish it, so they learn to spend money wisely.

Teach them to work for the things they want and don't necessarily need

From a young age, children must learn the value of hard work and that if you really want something, you need to put in the effort, show dedication and have patience and perseverance.

Work is precisely that: a constant show of effort, dedication, patience, and perseverance that only pays off only with time. You can teach this principle to your children by giving them household chores according to their age and abilities. As they grow, their responsibilities should increase. They need to know that no one else will do it for them if they forget or choose not to do it, and that not doing it will keep them from getting something they want. If your teen wants to work a few hours, as long as it doesn't get in the way of their school schedules, allow it. This will teach them responsibility, and they will learn that money does not grow on trees. They'll also learn that material things have value.

Teach them the value of giving

When our goal is to teach our children to be grateful, we must instill in them the desire to give. We must talk with our kids about the importance of sharing and being generous, and having empathy for others who are less fortunate. But it is, even more important, that as parents, we model the desire to give.

Involve your family in a community event where they can serve, donate clothes and shoes, or give money to help others. There are many hospitals, non-profit organizations, schools, churches, humanitarian organizations, etc., that provide many opportunities to serve and give.

Control your own urges to give your children everything they ask for

The wish of every parent is for their child to be better off than them. That can easily be confused with giving them everything they couldn't have when they were children. A culture of giving without limits creates ungrateful children.

We're living in a world where we are constantly consuming content, seeing false perfection, and being sold on the idea that we need more and more things. Now more than ever, parents need to step in and counteract this negative social and media influence. You have to set limits. Avoid "drowning" your children in toys, clothes, and things. Be careful not to give them more technology than they need. A simple life, almost always, is a fuller life.

Not having everything helps our children focus on what matters most, like friends and family, instead of yearning for things that — in reality — are not essential for their happiness.

Less is more.

by Damaris Alfaro

gratitude

children

parenting

Language English

Life-Changing Gratitude

Sara — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 18:57:05 +0000

Life-Changing Gratitude

Sara Thu, 11/02/2017 - 13:57 Oct 7, 2020

A few years ago, university psychologists conducted a research project on gratitude and thanksgiving. They divided participants into two groups. People in the first group practiced daily exercises like writing in a gratitude journal.

They reported higher levels of alertness, determination, optimism, energy, and less depression and stress than the control group. Not surprisingly, they were also a lot happier than those who were told to keep an account of all the bad things that happened each day.

One of the psychologists concluded that though a practice of gratitude is a key to most religions, its benefits extend to the general population, regardless of faith or no faith. He suggested that anyone can increase his sense of well-being just from counting his blessings.

But – and this is a BIG BUT - what do you do when you lose your job? You’re estranged from your children? Your parents die? Your marriage is mediocre – or worse? Your friend betrays you? You get cancer?

Two Types of Gratitude

One is secondary, the other primary.

The secondary type

The secondary type is gratitude for blessings received. Life, health, home, family, freedom, Cubs winning the World’s Series (2016, in case you forgot) — it’s a mindset of active thankfulness for good gifts. The great preacher and American theologian Jonathan Edwards called thanks for these kinds of blessings “natural gratitude.” It’s a good thing, but this gratitude doesn’t come naturally — if at all — when things go badly. We cannot rely on this type of gratitude when life goes sour.

Radical Gratitude

Edwards calls the deeper, primary type of thankfulness “radical gratitude.” It is not about the things we receive or experience, but about the character of God. It is a response to knowing and understanding God’s amazing grace and love. It gives thanks, not because of the stuff we get, but because God loves us.

This radical gratitude goes to the heart of who we are. It is relational, rather than conditional. Even if our world shatters, we stay intact because we know we are deeply loved by God. And that will never change. People who are filled with this radical gratitude are unstoppable, irrepressible, overflowing with what C. S. Lewis called “the good infection” — the supernatural, refreshing love of God that draws others to Him.

Growing Grateful

If you want to grow a grateful heart (or a more grateful heart)– start today.

Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for. Be sure to include both those things which are natural and those things which are radical.
Do this for a week.

Life can have some amazing highs as well as some challenging lows. Love, joy, peace, pain, loss, sadness. Our circumstances will change. Most of which are beyond our control. There is no question about that. That’s the nature of life. However, regardless of the height of the mountaintops or the depth of the valleys - we can experience joy if we develop a heart of radical gratitude.

by Bill Ferrell

gratitude

Language English

Prizing generosity

Sara — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:11:47 +0000

Prizing generosity

About this episode

How to practice and inspire generosity

"It's better to give than to receive" is more than an inspiring quote. It's a truth that can add value and happiness to your life and that of your children. Tune in for tips and insights on how to inspire generosity.

Sara Fri, 08/28/2020 - 11:11 https://soundcloud.com/familybridgesusa/prizing-generosity-how-to-practice-and-…

Soundcloud Embed

28 August 2020

Audrey Monke Founder of Sunshine Parenting

Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D. Founder & CEO

Veronica Avila Co-Host

Additional Info

TOOLS

The Struggle is Real podcast is based off the book, The Struggle is Real: Parenting in the 21st Century written by Dr. Alicia La Hoz & Dr. Paul Meier.

Podcast season

Gratitude, Kindness & Empathy

Choosing gratitude

A guide to choosing to be grateful with your children Gratitude is a daily choice, plain and simple. No matter your life or your circumstances...

Listen to Episode

Modeling empathy

A conversation about teaching & modeling empathy to children Talking to your kids about poverty and helping others is one thing. Showing them by volunteering...

Listen to Episode

Prizing generosity

How to practice and inspire generosity "It's better to give than to receive" is more than an inspiring quote. It's a truth that can add...

Listen to Episode

Podcast Thumbnail

Choosing gratitude

Sara — Fri, 28 Aug 2020 16:00:55 +0000

Choosing gratitude

About this episode

A guide to choosing to be grateful with your children

Gratitude is a daily choice, plain and simple. No matter your life or your circumstances you can always find something to be angry about, and you can always find something to be grateful for. Tune in for tips on how you can practice gratitude with your children.

Sara Fri, 08/28/2020 - 11:00 https://soundcloud.com/familybridgesusa/gratitude

Soundcloud Embed

28 August 2020

Dr. Kelly Flanagan Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Author

Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D. Founder & CEO

Omar Ramos Host

Veronica Avila Co-Host

Podcast Series

The Struggle is Real: Modern Parenting

Additional Info

TOOLS

The Struggle is Real podcast is based off the book, The Struggle is Real: Parenting in the 21st Century written by Dr. Alicia La Hoz & Dr. Paul Meier.

Podcast season

Gratitude, Kindness & Empathy

Choosing gratitude

A guide to choosing to be grateful with your children Gratitude is a daily choice, plain and simple. No matter your life or your circumstances...

Listen to Episode

Modeling empathy

A conversation about teaching & modeling empathy to children Talking to your kids about poverty and helping others is one thing. Showing them by volunteering...

Listen to Episode

Prizing generosity

How to practice and inspire generosity "It's better to give than to receive" is more than an inspiring quote. It's a truth that can add...

Listen to Episode

Podcast Thumbnail