friendship

When You Don't Like Someone

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 21:21:34 +0000

When You Don't Like Someone

anny@familybri… Tue, 04/28/2026 - 16:21 Apr 28, 2026

Mother's Day can be a tender, complicated time. For those of us who have lost our mothers, or whose relationship with our mother was never what we hoped it would be, the holiday can carry a quiet ache. But I have come to believe that God, in His goodness, does not leave us without love. Sometimes He places that love in the form of a friend. A sister who was never born into your family but came into your life by something far greater than coincidence.

This is a blog about that kind of friendship, and it starts with an unlikely place…judgment.

There is a Bible verse that says "Two are better than one" (Ecclesiastes 4:9), and another that reminds us that "as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). These verses are clear: we are not meant to do life alone. We need people, and we need the friction and the warmth of real relationships to grow into who God is calling us to be.

But there is also a verse that cautions us not to judge others, and that one? That one is a little harder to sit with.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

If we are honest with ourselves, judging comes naturally. It is almost reflexive. We size people up based on our experiences, our preferences, the way something makes us feel. And most of the time, we do not even realize we are doing it. Judging, at its core, is making a decision about a person or a situation without first taking the time to explore the facts.

Let me give you an example, one of my own.

In my teenage years, I was shy, guarded, and quietly skeptical of the world around me. I watched my surroundings carefully and made quick internal decisions about what, and who I was comfortable with.

I remember watching this young woman across the room. Long curly brown hair. Full of laughter and life. The kind of energy that fills up a whole space. She was everything I was not, and within moments of observing her, I had decided: I don't like her. We had never spoken. I did not know a single thing about her, but she was too loud for my taste, too much, and my mind was made up.

Then life happened, as it always does. My mother had to make an emergency trip to Puerto Rico, and I was left with my father. He would drop me off at church, and I would retreat to my safe corner with my small circle of friends and keep to myself.

One Sunday, she walked over to me and invited me to go out to eat after service.

Everything in me hesitated. I had already rendered my verdict. But something…someone, I believe, nudged me to say yes.

That was 37 years ago, and she has been my sister, my friend, and my constant ever since. We have never been apart.

I think back on that girl I was, arms crossed, mind already closed, and I have to ask myself: Why did I judge her so harshly? More importantly: What would I have lost if she had never asked?

If she had sensed my distance and walked away, I would never have known what I was missing. I would have gone through life without the gift of her friendship, and I would not have even known to grieve it.

So why do we do this? Why do we judge so prematurely?

Is it the residue of past relationships that wounded us? Is it that someone reminds us, even subconsciously, of a person who once hurt us? Is it simply that they are different from us, and difference, when we are afraid, can feel like a threat?

My sister-friend and I could not be more opposite. We see life differently. We have our disagreements and our contrasts. But none of that has ever been enough to create a wedge between us, because I have accepted her as she is. I see her beautiful qualities, and those qualities are far greater than any flaw. Love has a way of doing that when you actually let someone in.

I am not saying we must befriend every person we meet. There is wisdom in discernment. There will be moments when something in your spirit genuinely signals that a relationship is not safe or right for you. In those moments, you protect yourself. You create boundaries, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, there is a difference between discernment and dismissal. There is a difference between setting a healthy boundary and building a wall around your heart because someone is different, or loud, or unfamiliar, or simply did not check all the boxes on your unspoken list.

Before we write someone off, it is worth pausing to ask: What is really driving this? Have I actually tried to know this person, or have I only evaluated them? Have I given them a fair chance, or have I simply decided from a distance?

Even when a deep connection is not meant to be, we can still extend kindness. We can still be polite, warm, and human. There is no need to rush past someone or make them feel invisible. After all, Jesus Himself was misunderstood and rejected by many, and He was the Son of God. People made up their minds about Him based on their own comfort, their own beliefs, their own preference for the familiar. They missed who He was entirely.

Let us not miss people that way.

If you are navigating this Mother's Day without your mother, or with a complicated grief around what that relationship was or was not, I want you to know that love finds a way. God is creative and relentless in how He brings connection into our lives.

But sometimes, and this is the part we have to be honest about, we are the ones standing in the way. Sometimes we are the ones standing in the way, having already made up our minds before anyone even had a chance.

Women, we do this to each other more than we realize. We judge the way she carries herself. The way she laughs too loud or stays too quiet. The way she is too much or not enough, and in doing so, we miss her…the very person God may have placed in that room specifically for us.

So before you walk past her, before you build the wall, before you let judgment make a decision that your heart may one day regret…pause. Ask yourself: Have I actually given her a chance, or have I only given her a verdict?

Your sister, your friend might be right there. Say yes, and who knows you may look back 37 years from now and be so glad that you did.

by Omaira Gonzalez

friendship

mothers

attitude

character

faith

Language English

Faith, Resilience, and the Gentle Strength of Encouragement

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 05 Nov 2024 18:25:32 +0000

Faith, Resilience, and the Gentle Strength of Encouragement

anny@familybri… Tue, 11/05/2024 - 12:25 Nov 5, 2024

As I descended from the stage, my mind still buzzing with the echoes of my speech to faith-driven business leaders, a gentle voice from the crowd halted me. It wasn't about my words or our actions; instead, she felt a pressing nudge to pray for me. Her heartfelt prayer and blessings were like a soothing balm to my soul, enveloping me in warmth and comfort.

During that period of time a few years ago, my heart felt burdened as I navigated through one of the toughest challenge our organization had ever faced. One day while in DC, within a span of a six hours, I was hit with devastating funding cuts from two major sources, totaling a staggering million dollars. This forced us into the heartbreaking position of having to reduce staff, scale back programs, and, most painfully, risk losing the hard-earned trust of our community leaders in regions impacted.

The prayer lifted me and reminded me that just like God had rescued the Israelites from the hands of the Egyptians and brought them to himself not just once but repeatedly, that he too would carry us through. I was reminded that He had called me and my family for a greater purpose and that my job was simply to faithfully obey.

How have you been encouraged in your life?

Encouragement is a transformative force that can uplift and inspire. It can spread like a contagious wave, much like the infectious energy of a team you cheer for, filling you with the exhilarating hope of their triumph. Or it can come subtly, softly through a heartfelt prayer, a kind word, an affirming message, or even a powerful song that touches the very fabric of your soul. Beyond these, think of the joy in recalling God's extraordinary works in your life and the promises that guide your journey. These moments resonate differently from the thrill of reaching a hard-won goal, yet they energize you with a fresh sense of purpose.

Can you recall a moment when you summoned the strength to rise from bed, even when you were reluctant to conquer the day’s tasks? There is an adorable viral video of a girl sharing positive affirmations in front of a mirror. The concept of self-motivation through personal pep talks has gained traction, fueled by the self-made movement. Sure, one can argue that there are moments that this may help.

Encouragement transcends self-initiated efforts; it is a universal language of support, a potent force that binds and elevates us, fostering deep connections among individuals.

This is probably why it is such a prominent theme in several self-help books, in leadership, enhancing marital satisfaction, in parenting and family science, and embedded in several counseling frameworks. The literature offers some intriguing findings on encouragement. It has been tied to the development of students’ and athletes’ physical fitness, for example, and to fostering family resilience.

It is woven into the very fabric of our mission statement, "end the cycle of family trauma through innovative programs that empower, equip, and encourage underserved communities."

So what is encouragement?

In 1956, psychologist Alfred Adler introduced the idea that encouragement is crucial for human growth. Over time, it has evolved to signify the act of inspiring others, offering assistance, discovering pathways to overcome challenges, conveying a silent yet powerful message of self-worth, and instilling the confidence and courage needed to embrace change.

The Bible is filled with stories, verses, and psalms of worship that inspire us and also prompt us to encourage one another, particularly those who are disheartened (1 Thessalonians 5:11-15). Through the Holy Spirit, God inspires and uplifts us, His words and promises fill us with hope, worship rejuvenates our spirits, and we are empowered to pass that encouragement on to others.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

(Hebrews 10:24-25)

Life's challenges---from the shadows of despair and anxiety to the trials of job loss, relationship struggles, or global crises---are inevitable. Yet, within the pages of the Bible, we discover a wellspring of hope and strength. These verses offer a beacon of light, guiding us back to the unwavering promises of God, reminding us that no matter the storm, there is always a path to renewal and faith.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

(Isaiah 41:10)

The need is great. Consider these staggering statistics: a 167% rise in suicide rates among children aged 10-14, a 138% surge in anxiety among young adults aged 18-25, and 81% of employees reporting that their jobs negatively affect their mental health.

In a world where isolation can feel overwhelming, community acts as a beacon of hope, creating a nurturing environment where encouragement thrives. It possesses a healing power that resonates deep within the soul, igniting the heart and sparking transformation. I am privileged to witness the profound impact of uplifting others during their darkest times, watching as they blossom with newfound strength. The call for encouragement is urgent and pervasive. I invite you to join us in this vital mission to make a difference.

Someone in your home needs encouragement today.

Someone in your neighborhood needs encouragement today.

Someone you work with needs encouragement today.

Encourage them by. . .

Listening: Create space to take them in and truly listen to their heart. Avoid jumping in quickly with unsolicited solutions.

Being Vulnerable: Reveal your journey through a difficult chapter in your life, highlighting how His guidance and support led you to triumph.

Showing Up: Encourage someone by showing up to the celebrations, the experiences they invite you to be a part, the dreams they share with you.

Praying for them: Ask how you can pray for someone and follow-up, praying with them and for them.

Pointing to their strengths: Recognize their strengths, what they bring to the table, and how they matter.

Inviting them to remember: Invite them to recollect a time they overcame a struggle or a challenge and to reflect on what helped them pull through.

Being genuinely grateful: This month, we pause and remember the blessings God has architected for our life, his favor and good will for us. We get to slow down and express our gratitude to those we love and cherish. And gratitude is one powerful way we can encourage one another. Gratitude softens hardened hearts, breaks through contempt, paves a path for healing, and gives you joy.

There are so many ways you can encourage others today. You can make a difference today in someone's life.

Who will you encourage today?

by Alicia La Hoz, Psy.D.

faith

community

friendship

kindness

empathy

spiritual

Language English

What makes a Good Friend?

Sara — Sun, 01 Jul 2018 15:19:29 +0000

What makes a Good Friend?Sara Sun, 07/01/2018 - 10:19 Jul 1, 2018

Contributed by Analiese Fernandez

On the days that hang low in the valley and the ones that soar at the mountain peak, we tend to lean deep into our friendships for support. One of the areas in my life that I continuously work to invest in is the area of friendships. As a millennial, I find that as I get older, it's harder to establish lasting friendships. When you do have one, you realize it’s a valuable, rare treasure and you do what you can to nurture it. Does anyone else agree? [caption id="attachment_8462" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Three best friends hugging each other in the city.[/caption] I have always strived to keep my circle of friends small and intimate. I don’t desire to call a plethora of people my friends, but preferably two or three like-minded individuals who want to run this journey of life with me. I recently moved to Arizona from Florida with my husband. As newlyweds, we uprooted our lives and all that we know to begin a new chapter across the country. I left my job behind, we both left our families, our homes, and the safety of our comfort blanket. We also left behind our cherished friendships. The ones that have withstood the test of time and have walked with us through some pivotal seasons of our lives. How blessed my husband and I are to have friendships so wonderful to miss. We know our friendships back home will always have a special place in our hearts; however, my husband and I know it is important to connect with community. With that being said, in a completely new city as millennials, we question where to even begin. It feels like starting over. What exactly makes a good friend? When I ask myself that question, I immediately think of my closest friend, Sara, who has been there for me through some of my recent young adulthood years. We supported one another in our season of singleness; ensuring that we didn’t get discouraged. We were each other’s voice of reason when the rest of the world would try to sway us off track. We would remind each other of our worth and that in the waiting, we had our friendship to cultivate and watch grow. Shortly after, we both met the men who would later become our future husbands. When it was my time to get married, I saw Sara’s friendship on a whole new level. A level of sacrifice and love that I will forever cherish. When I was engaged, Sara had already become a wonderful wife and a new mother. In the midst of a major transition in Sara’s own life, she never once hesitated to make herself available for every detail of my wedding planning (despite living an hour away from me). When I reflect back on wedding planning, I think of Sara who willingly and joyfully sacrificed to see my special day come to fruition. So when I think of the qualities of a good friend, I remember that I have to surround myself with like-minded people. How I would define that would be by surrounding yourself with people who are running by your side in life. People who share common values, qualities, interests, and passions. Those who won’t hold you back from all that God is calling you to be but will help propel you forward. A good friend is someone who is loyal and supportive but will also be able to give you tough love when you need it if it means it’s going to help better you as an individual. As the Proverb says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Perhaps consider tough love to be an opportunity to be sharpened and be sure to reciprocate it for your friend who might need it one day too. Also, being capable of expressing empathy and being an active listener are essential qualities in a good friendship. All in all, the thought I keep coming back to is striving for life-giving and intentional friendships. Ones that leave you feeling rejuvenated and encouraged at the end of a conversation. A friendship where you and that person truly understand each other’s sense of humor and find yourselves laughing often. As millennials, we learn first-hand about “adulting” and the challenges it can bring at times, so laughter is essential and liberating. Strive for intentionality where both you and that other person make the same effort to cultivate your friendship. When I think of “cultivate,” I think of gardening; making preparations and caring for crops to one day reap a harvest. When we apply this mentality to our friendships, taking care of them and being intentional, we can one day hope to see the fruit of lasting, life-giving friendships. What other characteristics do you think would make a good friend? Comment below. For more tips on life and relationships, follow us on social media @familybridges.

friendship

kindness

character

Language English

friendship

When You Don't Like Someone

Faith, Resilience, and the Gentle Strength of Encouragement

What makes a Good Friend?

Faith, Resilience, and the Gentle Strength of Encouragement

Stones of Remembrance: Reflecting on God's Faithfulness

Finding Strength in Waiting: Embracing Patience as a Path to Hope

What makes a Good Friend?

Contributed by Analiese Fernandez