attitude

The Things We Choose to Hear

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 15:57:58 +0000

The Things We Choose to Hear

anny@familybri… Tue, 03/04/2025 - 09:57 Mar 4, 2025

My neighbor Marissa once shared a story about her father that has stayed with me ever since.

Her father was hard of hearing, and whenever he went to the doctor, Marissa would ask him, "What did the doctor say?"

His response? "I don’t know, I couldn’t hear anything."

And just like that, he went on with his day, unbothered. He lived another ten years.

At first, it made me laugh—what a way to handle life, right? But the more I sat with his words, the more I realized the quiet wisdom in them.

He couldn’t hear the bad news, so it never had the power to define how he thought, how he lived, or how much time he had left.

It made me wonder: How much of what we "hear" shapes the way we live?

We absorb so much of what others say about us—often without even realizing it. A rejection, a shameful comment, a careless remark—they become louder than the truth. And though we try to silence those voices, they have a way of creeping back in, whispering doubt, feeding fear, clouding our perspective.

Before we know it, we start living not by what is real, but by what we fear.

I’m not saying we should ignore reality, but what if we were more intentional about what we allow to take root in our hearts? What if we filtered out the noise—the assumptions, the negativity, the lies—and instead, chose to amplify what brings life, hope, and purpose?

How different would our lives be if we chose that instead? If we trained our minds and hearts to lean into what is true, instead of what is limiting?

We can’t control the world or the people around us, but we can control what we absorb, believe, and respond to.

We can choose to let negativity fog up our vision, or we can decide to see through the lens of truth, grace, and possibility.

Maybe Marissa’s father was onto something. Maybe, sometimes, not hearing the bad news gives us permission to keep living fully.

What are you choosing to hear today?

#Reflections #MindsetMatters #ChooseWisely #FaithOverFear

by Omaira Gonzalez

attitude

emotions

anxiety

stress

Language English

Perfectionism: Good Enough Really is Good Enough

anny@familybridgesusa.org — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 21:13:38 +0000

Perfectionism: Good Enough Really is Good Enough

anny@familybri… Tue, 10/15/2024 - 16:13 Oct 15, 2024

I’ll never forget the sinking feeling I had when I saw the expressions on the faces of volunteers after I started redoing a project they had spent hours working on. My intentions were good—I thought I was helping, trying to demonstrate how I wanted things done—but in reality, I deflated their motivation. My obsession with making everything flawless took over, and in the process, I ended up hurting the team.

That experience taught me a hard lesson: perfectionism, while it can push us to do better, can also tear down the morale of others when it’s driven by the wrong motives. I was so fixated on getting everything "right" that I failed to see the value in the work others were contributing. It made me realize that true leadership isn't about achieving perfection—it’s about fostering a space where people can grow and improve through the process.

Being a perfectionist can be exhausting. I had to get comfortable with looking inward and understanding how my own perfectionism was hurting others instead of helping. It wasn’t just about fixing mistakes but recognizing that my constant pursuit of perfection created a sense of dissatisfaction, even when we were successful.

As perfectionists, we tend to be goal-oriented, action-driven, and set high standards for ourselves and others. But I’ve learned that recalibrating those expectations—allowing room for mistakes, creativity, autonomy, and grace—is essential for personal growth and for building a healthy, productive team.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way:

GRACE: Learn to extend grace to yourself and to your team. Mistakes are inevitable, but they’re also opportunities to grow. We can’t control every outcome, and that’s okay. Focus on doing your best, but understand that unexpected challenges will come, and that’s part of the journey.

CREATIVITY: Encourage creativity, both individually and as a team. Whether it’s through team-building activities, brainstorming sessions, or even picking up a creative hobby, making room for creativity invites new perspectives and ideas. It can refresh your mind and allow for more innovative solutions.

MAKE ROOM: Planning is important, but at some point, you need to give yourself permission to stop planning and make a decision. Set a deadline, trust your instincts, and move forward. Good enough really is good enough. By letting go of the need for things to be perfect, you make room for new opportunities and possibilities you might have missed otherwise.

Perfectionism doesn’t have to be a burden. With self-reflection, you can learn to manage it in a way that fuels growth rather than stifles it. Let’s embrace the process, the imperfections, and the possibilities that come with trusting ourselves and our teams to do their best.

Reflection Questions:

Reflect on a time when your desire for perfection may have unintentionally affected the motivation or morale of others. How has your pursuit of perfection impacted your relationships with colleagues or team members?
What changes could you make to foster an environment where new ideas and perspectives are encouraged without the pressure for them to be perfect?
What practical steps can you take to recognize that good enough can still lead to success and opportunities for growth?

by Omaira Gonzalez

leadership

work-life balance

attitude

character

stress

Language English

What Am I Passing On to My Kids: A Gift or Baggage?

fbusacmsadmin — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:12:38 +0000

What Am I Passing On to My Kids: A Gift or Baggage?

fbusacmsadmin Wed, 03/26/2014 - 11:12 Mar 26, 2014

What specific character traits, positive or negative, did you learn from your mother? What about your father? How are you most like your grandmother or grandfather? Answering these questions will show you what traits you received from previous generations. All of us, whether we want it or not, have received a gift from our progenitors. These gifts can turn into a beautiful heritage or into useless, heavy, and burdensome baggage. In the same way, we also pass down gifts or baggage to our own children. How willing are we to sacrifice something today for the benefit of our children’s tomorrow? The answer to this question will determine what exactly we are going to be passing on to them – a gift or a burdensome baggage.

Whether we want to admit it or not, children are not as resilient as we want them to be when coping with complicated problems passed down to them by the adults in their lives. They will forever carry scars from emotional wounds received. The scars left behind are there to remind them of the lasting effects of the decisions taken by their parents. In her book, based on her 25 year study of divorce children, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Judith Wallerstein writes about how children are not that resilient as we once thought and how divorce leaves them struggling for a lifetime.

But divorce is only one of the decisions we make today that may end up leaving our children carrying the baggage of the previous generation. There are infinite decisions we make daily that over time also impact our children’s future and their view of the world.

Let’s take, for example, the parent that always gives in to the child that makes up excuses for not completing his homework and blames his teachers for his academic failures. What do you think those decision would have on that child’s educational goals or his ability to be a productive and successful student? I think after a short while that parent would discover that their child is becoming lazy, irresponsible, and is developing a negative attitude or view of the world. But even after the parent has observed some of the negative implications of their decisions, they continue to allow their child to engage in the blame game and start demanding less on their report cards because after all, blaming a teacher is easier than dealing with the underlying character flaws developing in that child. The other way requires tough choices and hard work on the part of the parent and the child.

We seek to do what feels good to us. We have an incredible capacity for justifying our actions and a rebellious attitude towards those who criticize our choices. When someone raises a concern, we write them off as meddling busybodies that have no business telling us what to do. If, however, we want to pass down the gift of productivity, or honesty or perseverance, or whatever other gift we want to pass down to our children, we must make some changes. Those changes can only be implemented if we become mindful of all those minute-by-minute decisions we make in regards to our children that one day will end up being a gift or baggage.

Our easy fixes and enabling actions may end up limiting our children for the rest of their lives. So let’s try to decrease the times we take the easy way out. I’m not suggesting that we will always be the super hero parents that never give in or make mistakes. But I am encouraging you to be the parent that knows that sacrifices do count. Let’s be generous as we pass down a legacy to our kids that they can be proud of. But let’s not be fooled into thinking that passing down that legacy will be easy. That kind of generosity many times means self-denial and self-correction. It means that we have to set aside what we want or put on hold the pursuit of some of our desires for the well-being of our little ones. I don’t think we will regret having made those temporary sacrifices for their well-being.

When someone asks our children, where did you learn to be so courageous? Let the answer be: “My mom is the most courageous woman I know”. Or if someone asks them: Who taught you to have such good work habits? Let the answer be: “My dad never complained about his job and always told me how lucky I was that I could get a great education”. Passing down good character traits to our children is the best way to share our legacy with the entire world. Let’s not load our little ones down with baggage. Instead, let’s be intentional in filling their arms with bountiful gifts that will extend to a thousand generations.

by Eva Fleming

children

parenting

attitude

behavior

Language English

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Make Lemonade

Sara — Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:13:26 +0000

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Make Lemonade

Sara Tue, 04/25/2017 - 09:13 Nov 3, 2020

Recently my husband and I went for a long walk at a nearby forest preserve. This was a new location for us, and we enjoyed exploring the nature around us. After an hour or so we noticed that we had been walking in circles around the same spot! We chuckled a bit as we couldn’t believe we never noticed that we kept passing the same bench or sitting area. We began to search for a path that would lead us back on track to our car.

Our traveling plans have been somewhat of the same experience. Our goal was to travel more this year; however, we have come across some paths that have kept us going in circles. I call these paths the “unexpected,” like when life throws you a curve ball. However, as the saying goes “when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade,” and we have learned to make the best of these moments and grow from them. My husband and I started to think of creative ways to continue exploring and traveling without spending too much money. We started to visit the Forest Preserves in our area each weekend. I started to observe that many families go on these trails, going on walks and picnics. We were so encouraged by this that we started to take our family on our trail walks to enjoy some quality time together. It is free, great exercise, and you can bring a picnic basket with some of your favorite foods.

Though my husband and I did not anticipate the setbacks that we came across this year, we did learn that there are so many other ways to appreciate each other, spend quality time together, and save money. We did schedule a vacation trip to one of destinations on our bucket list and we allowed ourselves enough time to pay it off, all we need to take with us is spending money.

We know that when it rains it pours, and we have learned to keep an umbrella nearby and to not be discouraged. Difficult times have given us incentive to look outside of the box for opportunities to create valuable experiences.

by Omaira Gonzalez

attitude

life

finances

Language English

How to Change Your Attitude

Sara — Tue, 30 Apr 2019 09:52:35 +0000

How to Change Your Attitude

Sara Tue, 04/30/2019 - 04:52 Apr 30, 2019

Sometimes you’re just in a bad mood. You woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Somebody did something that made you mad. You got hangry. You’re having a bad day. And when anybody tries talking to you, they get the look…

It happens. So what can you do to change your attitude, not only for the sake of those around you - but for you? Here are a few ways to turn your attitude around.

Talk to your best friend

Maybe you just need to talk to someone about your feelings. A friend or family member can help you process those feelings, put them into perspective and they can give you some good advice and support. Accept that life sucks sometimes. Reflect on what’s bothering you and get insight into the issue. You’ll feel better.

Be grateful

Nothing can change your negativity like combating it with positivity. Matter of fact, did you know that people who practice gratitude experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, are kinder and have stronger immune systems? See? Science. Take a few minutes to be grateful. List five things that you’re thankful for today. Be as specific as possible.

Listen to Music

Listening to music is yet another way to increase your positive emotions. Science again. Play some music with a low tempo, and you’ll decrease stress and anxiety - two things that may be causing your bad mood.

Exercise

Exercise is good for so many reasons, but one of them is that it improves mood. If you need an emotional lift or need to blow off some steam from a stressful day, a bit of exercise can help. Physical activity releases endorphins which makes you happier, more relaxed and less anxious.

Take a nap

How’d you sleep? Not enough? Are you tired? That can make anybody cranky. A good night’s sleep or even a nice power nap can make a huge difference in your mood.

Pamper Yourself

Get a message, a pedicure, a manicure, a facial, take a hot bath. Not only does it feel good, but they can help release tension, decrease stress and quiets the mind. You may not be able to change your situation, but you can change your attitude.

The next time you’re in a funk, consider these and change your mood for the better. It’s good for your health. Check out this blog on how attitude can make all the difference.

by Sarah Pichardo

attitude

Language English

Attitude: It Can Make a World of Difference

Sara — Fri, 26 Apr 2019 06:30:11 +0000

Attitude: It Can Make a World of Difference

Sara Fri, 04/26/2019 - 01:30 Apr 26, 2019

Have you ever had a day like the young boy had in the book by Judith Viorst Alexander, The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? Alexander’s day was not going well so his attitude started losing altitude early that morning: “I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”

Our attitudes can be compared to a microphone hooked up to a sound system that announces to the world the state of our soul. If deep within, we fear failure, dread discouragement and criticism, are poorly prepared to handle problems, and have no control over our thought patterns, our attitude is the megaphone that will announce it to the world. Often times we have little to no awareness of how we are reacting so our bad attitudes continue. It is not until we become aware of our attitudes that we understand that the ‘sound system’ is on and everyone can hear what’s deep within us. Think about it, who would like a loud microphone constantly announcing everyone’s inner thoughts for the world to hear? If all we hear is shrills, screams, and flat notes, I think we will get annoyed. Becoming aware of our attitude allows us to mute the ‘speakers’ so we can adopt a different view that can transform our thoughts, which in turn will improve our unfavorable reactions or ‘sounds’ to much more pleasant ones.

Some negative attitudes are helpful. It is appropriate to make those irritating noises for the whole world to hear once in a while. Since it is impossible to choose to have a good attitude every hour of every day, this allowance for the occasional bad attitude ends up being a good tool that can be stored and used when needed. An example of this would be when you find yourself rolling your eyes at a smoker and in so doing you make him feel compelled to stop his destructive behavior around you and your loved ones. In this case, having a bad attitude towards smoke and cigarettes is good for your health and your children’s lungs. But like I said, this type of bad attitude must be used sparingly.

Many of us had parents who instilled in us the right attitudes during our formative years. Yet we are surprised to see that even though we were once positive and perseverant, now we are negative and isolated. During the course of our lives we discovered that in order to belong we had to adapt. One of the most common ways to adapt to our new negative environment is emulating our peer’s attitudes; in other words, we learned how to be negative in order to fit in. But as we grow up emotionally, we come to realize that it might be time to unlearn those attitudes and relearn new ways to react to the world; or make the sounds that come from deep within us much more ‘melodious’.

Every morning when the sun rises, is a new opportunity to start fresh with a new attitude. Since attitude is something that I struggle with daily, adjusting my attitude every day is something I count as a privilege. As a parent, I can show my children every day that the past doesn’t have absolute control on my attitude; I am not held hostage to the failures of yesterday. Today I can come to understand anew that I don’t have to be so hard on myself or others because no one is perfect; that “attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference”. I can show them how to be brave as I daily learn to change my attitude one flat note at a time. So when the microphone is turned on, people don’t hear the sounds of a defeated, pathetic attitude but the pleasant sounds of a good attitude even when I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

by Eva Fleming

attitude

character

Language English

Believe like a Child

Sara — Fri, 28 Oct 2016 12:00:08 +0000

Believe like a Child

Sara Fri, 10/28/2016 - 07:00 Oct 28, 2016

Believe like a child.

When I was a child I believed in many things. I believed that a stick could be a sword. I believed that a cardboard box could be a car. I believed Santa Claus would bring me presents. I believed I could fly (I did in my dreams – so why not when I was awake). I believed my father would catch me when I jumped off the edge of the pool. I believed that my parents loved me. I believed that the world was good.

And then I grew up.

I learned not everything was as I had believed. Sticks made poor weapons, cardboard boxes would not move, Santa Claus’s real name was Mom and Dad, and I flew like a rock when I jumped off the roof.

We live in a world that has challenged many of our childhood beliefs and have contributed to how we see and understand the world. The current political environment. Terrorism. Racism. Divorce. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Poverty. Disappointment in what we believed our life was going to be “when we grew up.” These are some of the realities we live with. These can shape the way we view life. But these are not the only realities. If this is all we see, we are looking at an incomplete picture which distorts our perspective of reality.

There is the magnificence of a sunrise. The splendor of a meal with good friends. The miracle of birth. The hug of a child around your neck. The laughter at the dinner table with family. The holiness of a wedding ceremony. The deep connection with another human being. The delight of a child discovering the world. The love between a man and a woman. The amazing love of God.

God’s love is the greatest reality of all. The depths that we can plumb for the rest of our lives and never find the bottom. God who loves us. In every way. Who loved us to death. His.

Believe like a child.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” ²He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4

by Bill Ferrell

change

attitude

behavior

Language English

Ice Cream for the Soul

Sara — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:53:00 +0000

Ice Cream for the Soul

Sara Tue, 06/18/2013 - 17:53 Jun 18, 2013

My dad passed away last year and this will be the first time where my family will celebrate Father’s Day without him. He will always be on our mind and in our hearts and to honor him this Father’s Day, I am having a big bowl of ice cream.

My dad loved ice cream. So much in fact that when my mom was pregnant with my oldest sister and was experiencing labor pains, he stopped the car to buy her some ice cream. During his last days on this earth, one of the last things he ate was ice cream.

I remember one day when I was in high school, I was sitting in the kitchen with my head on the table. I had a terrible, pounding headache. My dad walked into the kitchen, saw me in my misery and asked “Que pasa mijita?” (What’s the matter my child?) With my head buried in my hands, I said “I have a terrible headache.” So he said to me, “I have just the thing to fix that.” And a minute later, with a grin from ear to ear, he handed me a bowl of ice cream and said, “Here eat this. It will not only make your headache go away, but it’s good for the soul.” I recall looking at him in bewilderment - but nonetheless happily took the spoon in my hand and ate that bowl of ice cream.

I learned a couple of things that day. First, ice cream does not cure a headache. Second, my dad was right, ice cream is good for the soul!

I realized later that there was one additional lesson that he was sharing with me that day he prescribed me a bowl of ice cream... in this life, you’ll experience headaches, pain, sadness, tribulations and thorns in your side, but these things are all temporary. They’re here today and gone tomorrow. But your soul - your soul is forever. Feed your soul one big spoonful at a time. Satiate your soul with things that are good and lovely and noble because that's what matters most.

This Father’s Day, share a bowl of ice cream with your dad. Talk a little. Laugh a little. And fill your right-nows with spoonfuls and spoonfuls of sweet goodness.

by Sarah Pichardo

fathers

attitude

Language English