Individuality

Tú Eres Tú

Sara — Mon, 20 May 2019 07:35:59 +0000

You Are You

Sara Mon, 05/20/2019 - 02:38 Apr 22, 2020

I was reading about a study that shows how baby names can affect future behavior. (Yes, there really is a study about this.) The research revealed that a person's name can influence where he/she chooses to live, occupation, and even choice of political candidates.

Naturally, after reading this, I immediately wanted to figure out how my name has affected me and since the study didn't have specifics, I did the next best thing - I googled it. I did a search for how people named Sarah where supposed to act, but that didn't really help.

The whole thing got me thinking, though, about the names we have grown up with that have defined our persons. Think of those names that you were called when you were younger and perhaps are still being called now. The majority of them are probably parts of your identity that were called out by others - things that people noticed in you and they began to know you as those things, such as smart, athletic, musical, chunky, goofy, lazy, etc.

How have those labels influenced the person you are today? Have they affected the way you look at yourself? Determined the choices you’ve made?

I’ve been called everything under the sun – stubborn and impatient, creative and generous. These have been reinforced throughout the years by others and as time has passed, I have accepted them to be true and have allowed them to define me as a person. Fortunately, these names and labels that I’ve grown up with haven’t been untrue or harmful. I have a close friend who wasn’t so lucky. He grew up in an abusive home, and despite all his best efforts, he was always referred to as stupid and good for nothing. For a while, he allowed those words, those labels, to define him. It wasn’t until after high school, when he joined the military, that he began to peel off the negative labels and live into more positive ones.

Take a minute to weed through the names you’ve been given. Recognize that some negative ones might be true and that those are areas that you need to work on. Also recognize that not all the negative ones may be true.

Judgment and name-calling will always be a part of life. There will always be people around the corner telling you that you aren’t smart enough or patient enough or successful enough. But don’t let others opinions of you dictate your future. If your name is going to be a determining factor on how your future shapes out to be, then pick your own labels. Make a conscientious choice to live into the person you want to be.

And remember, you are more than just a label. In the wise words of Dr. Seuss, “You are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”

by Sarah Pichardo

Individuality

Language English

Having Resolve

Sara — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:19:40 +0000

Having Resolve

Sara Tue, 01/22/2019 - 16:19 Jan 19, 2021

My father suffered a massive stroke shortly after his 55th birthday. As a result, the right side of his body was completely paralyzed. After weeks in the hospital, followed by months of intense physical therapy and with the spiritual support of many colleagues around the world, he began to gain function of his body. In the beginning, he made a herculean effort to get out of bed alone, but gradually with the help of a cane and holding on to the walls for support he started ever so slowly to get from one place to the other. His determination was so intent that in less than a year he was tending to his garden, pruning his fruit trees, teaching and even driving.

The success my father had relearning every mundane task starting from zero, shows what scientists have known all along - that the brain is more malleable than previously thought and is capable of rebuilding itself even after having been damaged or after having lived through trauma.

Determination and resolve coupled with the ability of the brain, due to its plasticity, to change and adapt, is what we need to keep on keeping on, never giving up!

Modern studies have revealed how the brain continues to create new neuron pathways and altering the already existing ones to adapt to new experiences, learn new information and create new memories even in the face of insurmountable obstacles. This means that the person who refuses to give up can be successful even amid the challenges he or she is facing. When you want to conquer an obstacle, follow through on a resolution, or overcome a weakness, you can be certain that you are literally made out of a gray matter that is always renewing itself.

This ability the brain has to renew itself, conquer obstacles, learn new routines and even develop noble character is the understated miracle of humanity. This should bring not only pleasure to our lives but also prompt us to be immensely grateful. Even though we are saying it is a “miracle,” that doesn’t minimize the process of growth one has to go through and the stress that change inevitably brings: Everything that’s worth having is worth fighting for.

Here are some steps we recommend you follow when facing new challenges:

Accept your situation and embrace your challenge
Commit to getting the most out of the challenge and the process, learning the lessons it provides along the way
Consider your personal growth as a gift to humanity
Remind yourself that the initial frustration of learning something new is normal and it can be overcome
Surround yourself with people that can give you positive support
Don’t lose faith

My father was resolute in his pledge to get better after his stroke and I know that your challenge, even though it is probably different, is just as significant. Don’t get discouraged, find your compass, and get up every day with a renewed commitment until you accomplish what you have set out to do. The ability of the brain to perform great feats is tucked deep within you and tenacity is all you need to activate it.

by Eva Fleming

life

emotions

change

Individuality

mental health

Language English

A Latina Trailblazer: from Education to Construction

Sara — Mon, 10 Dec 2018 15:49:04 +0000

A Latina Trailblazer: from Education to ConstructionSara Mon, 12/10/2018 - 09:49 Dec 10, 2018

By Veronica Avila

“This is your new country. You are free. You can accomplish anything you want, except become the president of the United States. And always remember, never compromise your ethics. Those were the words 10-year-old Edith de la Cruz heard from her father Romualdo De la Cruz, when they arrived from Guatemala to the US in 1975.

From an early age, Edith was encouraged by her father to stay focused and work hard to reach her goals. So, she did. Edith received her degree in Psychology and began working as an ESL Teacher in Berwyn, IL where she saw a great need for bilingual teachers. One day, while having a conversation with other parents about their kids and college, she realized she wasn’t financially prepared to send her kids off to college. She panicked for a moment but was determined to find a way to start working towards that goal. A friend of hers, a developer, introduced her to the idea of “flipping” properties; if she invested in a foreclosed property, she’d be able to fix it and sell it. That was an “aha” moment for Edith. The problem was that she didn’t know much about the business, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her. She knew a little about carpentry and was ready to learn the rest. Her friend offered to teach her the ropes of the business, as soon as he came back from his 4th of July break. A self-starter, Edith couldn’t wait, so she drove off to seek properties; foreclosed, boarded up houses, anything that had the potential for a “flip.” She found a 3-story flat with a sign that read “Fast-track demolition auction for July 5th.” With only a couple of days left before the auction, she sought counsel from realtors that could help her meet the requirements of the city to bid. After a long search, she finally found someone who could help. So, into court, she went. She was able to become the defendant of the property vs. the city. But now, the court required that she make the needed repairs to the building in 120 days before they would allow her to purchase it. So, she got to work. She fixed all the required repairs and sent her attorney pictures. The phone call finally came in with a, “You should do this full-time.” She received the approval to purchase it. She flipped it, sold it, and she liked the feeling of it. She did it! So, she began her journey as a general constructor on the side. In 2005, Antigua Construction was incorporated and since then has been a minority woman-owned business. If you're interested in starting up a small business, check out our Micro Enterprise program. In 2005, she left the education field to dedicate all her time and efforts into her new construction business, Antigua Construction. Unfortunately, in 2007 the market began to decline, and she had to sell a couple of properties. That didn’t stop her. She was determined to immerse herself in the business of becoming a General Contractor. She took every class she found to become a certified general contractor. She learned, applied for the certifications, and worked tirelessly to obtain them. Today she is certified by the General Services Administration (GSA), Small Business Administration (SBA), Minority and Women-Owned Business Certification Program (M/WBE), Disadvantaged Business Enterprise Program (DBE), National Minority Supplier Development Council (NMSDC), Illinois Department of Central Management Services (CMS), and Women-Owned Small Business (WOSB). She began looking for what she describes as the “starving artist opportunity.” Started knocking on doors, all of them, to find the opportunity that would allow her to start up as a contractor. After following up persistently, a major contractor asked her, “What do you want?” Edith confidently responded, “I am the Persistent Widow.” He replied with another question, “Are you a widow?” Edith referred him to the biblical reference of the persistent widow. He was silent for a moment, then agreed to work with her. She received her first project of $3,000, then a second, and then another. He gave her the opportunity, and Antigua Construction began to grow. In 2010, she went on vacation to visit her father. Upon her return, the bank that had been her lender for years called to inform her that they would be cutting all lines of credit to small businesses. It was a tough time. Closing the business crossed her mind. As a woman of faith, she asked God for a sign if she was to keep Antigua open. Minutes later, she received a text from a friend in office expressing his support. Then, if in doubt, she received a random call from someone who wanted to let her know what she would be referring her business to federal decision-makers on construction. That was the sign! Edith regained her composure and was ready to move forward with her business. The road hasn’t been easy. Edith has faced adversity and challenges in a man-dominated industry ‘til this day. But that hasn’t stopped her. On the contrary, it fuels her determination to continue moving forward by sticking to her goals. She has faced the challenges of seeing people she entrusted and who she thought would be her biggest supporters, fail her, mock her, and ultimately hurt her. Fortunately, she’s also had good people by her side who encouraged her to let go and move forward. Following her dad’s counsel of looking at life as if in a car, “The windshield is wide and you must focus on driving forward. The rearview mirror serves one purpose, to quickly glance back and then continue to look forward.” And that is what she continues to do with any storm that comes along the way. Let’s talk family. Edith is a single mom of 3 kids, Bryan, Joshua, and Viviana - who have graciously seen their mother working 24/7 while also staying involved in their lives and their education. It hasn’t been easy. There was a point in her life when her children pulled her to the side asking to regain their mom back from Antigua. Fortunately, and not surprisingly, they found a way to make it work. They agreed to leave all technology, including social media, out of their house to have a healthy work-life balance. Fridays became family nights when one of the kids would choose food and activities. Edith values her family enormously and continues to have a strong bond with them. They’re also all involved in the business in some capacity. She shared a funny anecdote with us, “I wanted my kids to speak Spanish well, so I encouraged them to study abroad. My son Bryan went to Spain for a semester, then came back saying he wanted to go back.” The reality was that while he studied in Spain, he met someone special. Edith wanted him here, plus the plan was that he would be joining the business. Fast forwarding, “On April 1st, he invited us to brunch and told me that he was going to get married in Spain. I laughed, it was a great April Fool’s day joke.” He wasn’t joking. He later married and now is pursuing a Master’s in Kinesiology. Her other son, Joshua, is also a part of the business, handling all on-the-field matters, and her daughter Viviana is pursuing a degree in Business Administration, while she gets hands-on experience at Antigua. Edith de la Cruz is undoubtedly a Latina Destacada. She is a successful Latina entrepreneur in the construction business, with significant city and Tollway contracts. She has a strong family bond which she and her children continue to nurture, and she is an example and inspiration to single moms and minorities. Edith shows us that if you’re determined and committed, you can accomplish anything. For more resources on professional development and relationship building, you can follow Family Bridges on social media @familybridges.

goals

Individuality

family

Language English

Choosing a Career

rlara — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 18:59:52 +0000

Choosing a Careerrlara Mon, 01/08/2018 - 12:59 Jan 8, 2018

Contributed by Eva Fleming

My nephew loves reading and by age 20 he had read a huge portion of the top recommended books in the U.S., having read a book a week for two years. So it came as no surprise when he announced that he was going to college to become an English professor. This means that he will pursue a master’s degree once he completes his bachelor degree. His mother was so in tune with her son’s interests that she even said that she would not pay for a single college credit if he chose to pursue a career that did not align with his interests, like accounting. My daughter, on the other hand, is an artist. She has always loved the arts, sculpture, painting and music, so when she announced she was going to the Art Institute to pursue technical training in Graphic Design, no one batted an eye. My nieces and nephews have been fortunate because they know their strengths and with the support of their family they have been encouraged to pursue careers that are a good fit for them based on their strengths, values, personality and skills, not social status or social norms. Choosing a career is one of the most important decisions an individual will make in his or her lifetime. We encourage parents to put aside their own ambition and encourage their children to pursue careers that fit their talents and passion. The right kind of work provides us with an inner creative joy that no amount of leisure activities can replace. Dullness and boredom can turn work into a burden if we are not interested in what we do. Work can give us a sense of purpose and a channel for our passion. This is why choosing a career requires some forethought. In order to choose well, you must first know yourself well. You need to get in touch with your strengths, values, personality and skills. Armed with that knowledge, you can then decide if a four-year college education or technical training will help you best embrace your life’s purpose. Once you assess your likes and dislikes you can consider your options based on your interests. As you narrow down your choices, consider the impact your career choice will have on your life. Ask yourself, what is the financial impact of my career choice, what is the relational impact, and am I willing to live with those consequences? Following a career path that suits you will enrich your spirit. The ancient proverb says, “the soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” So be diligent, be purposeful, and choose wisely. For more resources on personal and professional development, you can follow Family Bridges on social media @familybridges.

goals

Individuality

life

Language English

Hello. I'm a Millennial.

Sara — Thu, 17 Nov 2016 22:04:49 +0000

Hello. I'm a Millennial.Sara Thu, 11/17/2016 - 16:04 Nov 17, 2016

Contributed by Frederick Ford Beckley

Or so they tell me. Before that they told me I belonged to Generation Me. Before that, Generation Y. But now, finally, everyone has agreed on the correct name for me and my kind: Millennial. For a long time, I didn't know how to feel about being a Millennial. On the one hand, it's simply a system of classification, based on birth year. Everyone born has a birth year, and so everyone falls into a generational classification - before the Millennials was Generation X, before them were the Baby Boomers, before them, the Silent Generation. … I wonder how the Silent Generation felt about their moniker. I'd ask them but, you know, they're silent… On the other hand, the main reason I and lots of other Millennials aren't super stoked to be Millennials is the abundance of assumptions that come with the territory. I'm sure you've heard that people born after 1981 are lazy, entitled, ungrateful, unreliable, self-obsessed and generally less skilled than earlier generations. If you haven't heard that, go ahead and google it, I can wait. If you're a Millennial I know I only have to wait about 5 seconds. If you're older than a Millennial, it might take a few minutes. Millennials are faster with technology in general, it's one of the things that makes us so lazy. Before I wrote this article, I wanted to double check my Millennial status. I mean, I didn't want to present myself as something I'm not. Maybe there's more to being a Millennial, I thought, than being born after 1980. I'm a great speller, and yet I constantly misspell Millennial (I always forget the second N), so subconsciously maybe I knew something didn't add up. I ended up taking a quiz testing my Millennial percentage, and it turns out my behaviors indicate I am 93% Millennial. You can take the quiz here if you like, it's only 15 questions: http://www.pewresearch.org/quiz/how-millennial-are-you Anyway, after answering questions about my political and social views, my daily media intake - both social and non-social, and even my tattoo history, it started to sink in. I am a Millennial. And I've decided to embrace it. So what if a load of Baby Boomers think that I use my phone too much and that it is alienating me from my peers. My parents (Baby Boomers both) use their phones much more than I do. My mom spends more time playing Candy Crush in a day than I spend playing video games in a month. I've tried to enact a no-phones policy at the dinner table, but inevitably my dad thinks of some picture he wants to share with me or some fact he wants to check. It seems to me that the current state of technology has baited everyone to increase their data usage, not just Millennials. I used to resent the thought that "Millennials don't work hard". But then I remembered that every generation has said that about the one that follows it. I used to resent the thought that "Millennials are delusional" but then I remembered all the times I was told growing up that I could do anything, that I could be whatever I wanted. If that takes longer to achieve or if I look delusional living on my own terms and not necessarily for capital gain, that's fine. Haters gonna hate. I really used to resent the thought that "Millennials are lazy, ungrateful, and unreliable." But then I remembered I work 50-60 hours a week, I love the people around me and the opportunities they've given me, and I have great follow through. I'm not perfect, but I doubt the people criticizing Millennial behavior are perfect either. I'm not saying that there aren't lazy millennials, or narcissistic ones, or entitled ones, I'm just saying they don't represent me. They don't represent my hardworking, kind, intelligent, social-media savvy Millennial friends. I don't concern myself with how other generations assume people like me act. And this is the advice I give not only to Millennials, but any classification of people that face prejudice. Don't get bogged down with how people perceive you. Don't let it change you. Don't let it get you mad. Be an individual. And when you meet other individuals who think poorly of you, prove them wrong. Be the exception. It'll probably take a while. Turning the tide always does. But at least, in the meantime, we can take really good selfies. #P.S. To the generation that follows mine, whether you come to be known as Generation Z, the Post-Millennials, the iGeneration, the Founders, the Plurals, the Alpha Generation, or the Homeland Generation*, there will be people that say you don't work as hard as we do, that you undervalue human relationships, that you're coddled and even further removed from the "real world". There will be a whole slew of negative assumptions projected onto you. But not from me. I'm excited to meet you. Let's take a selfie sometime, or whatever cool thing you all are into. *These are all real names in the running for the next generation, time will tell what is chosen. For more blogs, tips and articles on life and relationships, follow us on social media as @familybridges.

Individuality

character

generations

Language English

Blank Space

fbusacmsadmin — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 21:47:42 +0000

Blank Spacefbusacmsadmin Thu, 02/19/2015 - 15:47 Feb 19, 2015

Contributed by Sarah Pichardo

I’m sure that by now, you’ve heard Taylor Swift’s new single, “Blank Space”. In the lyrics, she sings, “I got a long list of ex-lovers…But I got a blank space baby, And I’ll write your name.” We all know Taylor Swift is a serial dater and that’s on her, but my question is, why does the blank space always have to have someone’s name in it? STOP. Just stop looking for love in all the wrong places, with being obsessed with finding your life mate or having the constant need to have someone at your side because you can’t stand to be alone. Being single is not the same thing as waiting to be married. It’s not about dating until you find someone; rather it’s about living life and doing the things that you’re passionate about. It’s about embracing life and enjoying the journey. It’s about being comfortable and happy enough with yourself that you can put the pen down and not worry about whose name you’re going to write in the blank space. Don’t get sucked into the myths that marriage (or being in a relationship) completes you or that you’re not an adult until you’re in a serious, committed relationship. I wrote a blog not too long ago about marriage notcompleting you, but rather complimenting you. Again, I’m not against marriage. I’m actually totally for it. (You can read all about that right here.) And anyway, if you’ve looked for love over and over again and you haven’t found it, what makes you think you’re going to find it the 20th time around? Try something new. Let it come to you instead. Redirect your energy into trying new things, strengthening relationships with friends and family, working on something you’re passionate about, growing as a person, changing the world. And who knows, maybe in the process you will come across someone who enjoys living life as much as you do.

relationships

Individuality

break up

Language English

Single and Happy

fbusacmsadmin — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 21:15:22 +0000

Single and Happyfbusacmsadmin Tue, 02/17/2015 - 15:15 Feb 17, 2015

Contributed by Isaias Perez

There are times in life when we feel lonely just because were single. Not only that, we may also feel rejected, not attractive enough or valuable to have someone by our side. But the truth is, we, as single people have been blessed with singlehood. If we decide to live it well. This is a time to grow both as human beings and professionally. So this is my message to you: Enjoy this time as a single person to the max. Give the best of yourself in everything you do and when you least expect it, that special person will come into your life. By then, you’ll have a great deal to offer because you invested your singlehood in positive things that your partner will be able to appreciate and enjoy by your side. If you’re single, you’re not alone. And no, you are not unattractive either. You’re just in a time of growth and development. So enjoy your singlehood and make the best of it! “Being single isn’t a time to be looking for love, use that time to work on yourself and grow as an individual” – Unknown.

Individuality

mental health

single

Language English

Why We Should Stop Comparing Our Children

fbusacmsadmin — Wed, 08 Oct 2014 15:56:07 +0000

Why We Should Stop Comparing Our Childrenfbusacmsadmin Wed, 10/08/2014 - 10:56 Oct 8, 2014

Contributed by Eva Fleming

I am always disappointed when after only a few days of school, the first thing my kids’ teachers have to say is, “your son is finally breaking out of his shell.” What does that mean anyway? Does it mean that they didn’t work hard the first two weeks of school? That they didn’t complete their assignments, show pride for their work, or respect their teachers and classmates? What were my sons doing that brought such relief to the teachers to see them “breaking out of their shell?” I know what my sons were doing – they were being quiet. But I also know what their teachers were doing – they were comparing. Why can’t we stop comparing our children to others and instead start appreciating them for who they are? A quiet child has great advantages in a world that can’t stop talking. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; they innovate and create; they dislike self-promotion and they enjoy working on their own. It is quiet people like Rosa Parks and Abraham Lincoln to whom we owe so many of our societal achievements. On the flip side, an extroverted child is just as valuable. They are the ones who push ideas, fight for the weak, organize big campaigns and lead with conviction. It is loud people like Martin Luther King and Margaret Thatcher whose attention-seeking personalities have changed the world. Parents compare their children because they cannot help to do so. They compare because there are certain characteristics that their children might have that are somewhat glorified in our culture, such as playing team sports, being outspoken, leading group projects and drawing a crowd of friends. So in response to our pre-conceived ides of how a child should behave, we choose to compare them to others. When we compare our children and value one characteristic over another, we force them to become people they are not and, in so doing, not only do we damage their ego but also harm society by causing an imbalance in the world as a whole. Society needs children that play sports, but it also needs artists and poets. A society is better off when it has a brain, a heart, and strength. We need all kinds of people. Some comparison is natural and helpful, especially when we are looking at milestones. But we go into panic mode early on in their lives when other babies hit a milestone before ours do; forgetting to account for their temperament and genetic disposition. We compare to motivate, oblivious to the fact that what to us is motivation to our children is a recipe for resentment. Judging, grading, and labeling hinder our children’s ability to reach their full potential. Every child under your roof is special. One might be able to recite the Greek alphabet by the time he turns two; but the other one might smile often and makes people happy with her sense of humor. As a parent, I want to take in those moments when each one of my children reacts differently to a situation. I want to love them for their individuality. I want to think that one may become the Eleanor Roosevelt of the world, quiet but determined to help and love the lowly; while the other might become the Franklin Roosevelt of history, forceful and gregarious with influence to make big changes. But how do we learn to rest from the need to compare? By replacing it with unconditional love. Love will help our children find a secure place in our homes. A child that’s loved does not need to be compared to help him/her figure out how to make their mark in the world. If they are loved, we have freed them from all that anxiety of having to measure up. We have given them the opportunity to become who they are meant to be. We have given them the choice to stay inside their nooks and crannies or to come out of their shell as each situation demands it.

parenting

children

love

Individuality

Language English

Your Kids and Their Different Personalities

fbusacmsadmin — Fri, 15 Aug 2014 15:58:35 +0000

Your Kids and Their Different Personalities

fbusacmsadmin Fri, 08/15/2014 - 10:58 Aug 15, 2014

I knew I was in for a treat when I brought my third child home from the hospital. He had to be rocked all the time and never, I mean never, be put down in his crib.

The experts encouraged me to put him down and let him wail all night until he got used to his crib, but I disagreed with that approach. I simply could not bear to hear my baby crying. I had two children already, and I never had to let those two wail through the night. Why start now?

I made it through the next three years with little sleep while that little boy and I became best night time buddies.

Research shows that personalities displayed very early in life will stay with us until adulthood. Oh boy! I guess we have a few more sleepless nights to go.

Three completely different children live under my roof. You would never know that all three share the same father and mother. Their personalities are as distinct as their unique thumbprints. By personality, I am referring to the consistency of their behavior in a wide variety of situations.

It amazes me how my older child can be so determined, playful, and imaginative; the second one be so orderly, respectful, and philosophical; and the third one be so practical, outspoken, and strong-willed!

After I realized that sleep was overrated, I began to appreciate them for who they are. I have found that the key is not to resent their personality traits but to embrace them and use their strengths to help our family shine as a team. Each member makes the family unit stronger with their skills and personality traits.

My determined and fun-loving daughter teaches my timid child how to be more adventurous. My niece is physically strong, and my son is mentally alert. The two of them make a great team of brawn and brain. My youngest son’s determination makes him a great worker; he negotiates allowances and rewards for big jobs, and everyone benefits from his practical approach and leadership.

Our challenge as parents is to find their place within the family unit and plug them in. Children are pre-wired to be who they are. So you can either embrace their wiring by helping them shine in the context of the family, or you can disassemble them, crush their spirit and engage in endless power struggles.

Regardless of their personality, the most important thing is to focus on their character. No matter if our children are outgoing or timid, rambunctious or adaptable, they can all be taught character through intentional parental practices. We can adapt our teaching methods to their personalities. We can always be an example, tell them stories related to the character traits, illustrate what that character looks like in the real world, and help them practice those character traits when the opportunities arise.

By focusing on character development and teamwork, we create a more peaceful and harmonious household and help mold individuals that benefit their society and themselves.

A child’s personality infused with a strong character can enrich their school, friendships, and eventually their own calling. Children grow up and leave our homes, and they set out to make a mark on the world.

When mine leave, I want them to do so pursuing a career that is a great match for their personality. I hope to see their work field and those around them benefit from their unique personality and strong character.

Let’s raise exceptional and active individuals that make an extraordinary difference in the world. It all starts by accepting our children for who they are by choosing to enjoy their personalities, making space for them in our lives, and making character building (not changing their personality) the focus of our parenting efforts.

by Eva Fleming

parenting

character

Individuality

Language English

Single & Complete

fbusacmsadmin — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 21:53:47 +0000

Single & Completefbusacmsadmin Tue, 07/01/2014 - 16:53 Jul 1, 2014

Contributed by Sarah Pichardo

I’m in my 30s and I’m not married. And if you come from a Hispanic family, this is a BIG deal. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked by extended family and others “when are you planning to get married?” – as if I could actually schedule my entire life, including who I’ll marry and when, in my calendar. I grew up in a two-parent household where my parents held a model relationship. They had been married for over 45 years before my father passed away. I strongly believe in marriage, I have witnessed how beautiful (even though difficult) it can be. What I don’t believe in, however, is the notion that marriage completesyou. Before you stone me, allow me to explain. I believe that we all crave relationships…human connection…love. I do believe that we all need some type of relationship in our life. But we all don’t have to find our soul mates and get married to be complete. To say that marriage completes you, is to say that we as individuals are not operating at 100% because we’re missing a piece of us, that we are deficient or lacking of something that only another person can fulfill. I don’t buy it. What I do believe is that a spouse compliments you and contributes to your person. Those areas in your life where you are weak or lacking, that other person is strong and abundant. They are your constant cheerleader, your rock, your one sure thing – they help you be a better person. And I’m an advocate of marriage for these very reasons and many others. However, I’m also an advocate for being single. Perhaps it’s because my parents taught me to be independent and I took it to a whole ‘nother level – but I’m perfectly content in my single status. I am by no means lacking in my need for relationships. I have love and show love and am given love by my friends and family. This isn’t to say that I won’t ever get married. It just means that right now, and for as long as I am single – be it a year, 5 years, 15 years or forever – I am content and satisfied with my person. Yes, marriage is a beautiful thing. But you don’t have to be married to be happy or complete. Be confident with who you are. Don’t simply get into a relationship to fill a void or an expectation, because that will only lead to dissatisfaction. And for the love of God, please stop asking me when I plan to get married.

character

Individuality

Language English

Individuality

Tú Eres Tú

The worth of self-worth

Having Resolve

With Determination and a Good Plan You Can Achieve Your Goals

How to Make Your Goals Stick

A Latina Trailblazer: from Education to Construction

By Veronica Avila

Choosing a Career

Contributed by Eva Fleming

Hello. I'm a Millennial.

Contributed by Frederick Ford Beckley

Blank Space

Contributed by Sarah Pichardo

Single and Happy

Contributed by Isaias Perez

Why We Should Stop Comparing Our Children

Contributed by Eva Fleming

Your Kids and Their Different Personalities

Play by play of a child's brain

Want to Raise Great Kids?

Single & Complete

Contributed by Sarah Pichardo